My Utmost for His Highest

I've been revisiting my favorite devotional book recently and wanted to share it with you...and tell you the things God has placed on my heart.   My all time favorite devotional book is, "My Utmost for His Highest", by Oswald Chambers.   I love it!

So, here's what I'm doing over the next year...

I'm going to read a devotional every day, pray over it, re-read it...then re-read it again.  I'm believing God has a purpose in why my heart wants to do this.  I want to know Him.  Don't you?  Does your heart long to KNOW him and believe Him?.  Believe Him the way that Abraham believed him.  Complete abandon to Christ in every area, every moment. 

I'm going to journal every day so I can look back and see what God has done and praise Him for it.  I may journal some of it here and would love comments along the way.  I'm hoping to eventually write something from each verse here and discuss what God is actively doing in my life.  The Bible tells us to knock and the door will be opened.  Ask and we will receive.  Seek and we will find.  I'm knocking, asking and seeking...and I believe that He is faithful. 

Here's a small excerpt from "My Utmost for His Highest" and something that stuck with me:

"My worth to God in public is what I am in private. Is my master ambition to please Him, or something less, no matter how noble?"  

May God be pleased and glorified, above all things.  

The Making of a Special Interest Group

One of the things that has always been important to me in the political arena of homeschooling, is that homeschoolers could stand apart, while still standing together in support of homeschooling in and of itself.  Even homeschoolers who had divergent views on what homeschooling should entail stood together for this one thing:  The absolute right to homeschool as we see fit.  One of the things that make that so obvious is that homeschoolers fight at all costs to keep the government out of their business...even fully secular homeschoolers.  We're doing just fine without their interference, and almost anyone who has done any real research has a difficult time arguing that point.  We score higher on standardized tests, we have a huge rate of students who seek higher education, and we tend to be more civicly minded.  Even Professor Rob Reich of Stanford University, who's famously opposed to homeschooling without State interference, will admit to most of these findings.

It's amazing to note that no one group has ever stepped up as the "voice" of homeschooling, because we tend to intentionally seek our own way as individual families.  Government has tried many tactics to stop that, but because they can't find any real reason to shut the door on homeschooling, as well as the diverse population of homeschoolers, they've continually failed.  Until they finally hit upon the great neutralizer in all political debates:  Money.  When money is introduced, you begin to see a group of people with saliva dripping from their jowls in great anticipation of their tax credit that will surely change the direction of their lives.  Money.  The love of money is the root of all evil...I have that on Good Authority. 

And so, like most special interest groups, some perceived personal benefit is beginning to change the once vast view of homeschoolers that we didn't want the government in our business.  After all, they're not exactly doing a spectacular job of the students who's education they currently control. 

They are using the School Choice Bill as a way to "include" homeschoolers in the "tax credit", also known as the proverbial carrot, in my state, South Carolina.  Now let's be clear, I do not object to a School Choice Bill.  What I object to is homeschoolers being tacked onto the bottom of a bill that isn't about homeschoolers, nor about school choice for homeschoolers.  In SC, we already HAVE school choice.  We have three options to choose from when we determine to home educate our children.  Each of these options are good ones that cover a wide range of school "choice". 

I applaud a School Choice Bill, as it's proven to work and provide a better education to our population.  I do NOT applaud homeschoolers being tacked onto a school choice bill when we already have school choice.  This ALONE should be a red flag to those that support this for money.  Many of the same people who are seeking to get this money, are the very ones who gripe about other special interest groups seeking money for themselves.  This is NOT different, no matter how you try to justify your motivations.

Why are we in the bill at all, you might ask? (or you should)  Because tax credits open the door for due diligence.  We just had a homeschooler on a local homeschool group asked for her attendance records when claiming an earned income credit.  And yet some local homeschoolers don't believe, or are willingly being obtuse, whichever you prefer, that by accepting this measly little credit from the School Choice Bill that they will not have any accountability to the government.  I would ask them, "Can you show me ANY precedent for that train of thought?"  EVER?   There's not a single tax credit in the history of the IRS that will get out from under the governmental thumb. Frankly, it shouldn't.

Here is a telling quote taken from a letter that Christine Field, attorney with the Homeschool Legal Advantage wrote a few years ago in response to the federal tax credit discussion:   

"But, you say, this isn’t really funding – it’s a return on taxes we have already paid.

True, just like every other deduction you take on your Income Taxes, such expenditures would have to be documented. In our view, this leaves the door open for inspection and approval. It is a foothold that we cannot allow the Federal government to establish.

For comparison, three states allow parents to take a deduction on their State income taxes for homeschool expenses. In my state (Illinois) I have taken the deduction and have been subject to questioning and requests for extra documentation each year I have sought it" 

Do I have a problem with the government requiring documentation for tax money they refund?  No.  I'd expect nothing less.  And isn't this the entire point?  We've made a CHOICE to homeschool.  We made that choice knowing that we would, and should, fund our children's education for the FREEDOM to choose what we teach, when we teach it, and how we teach it.  And for a measly 1500.00 dollars, and that's only if you qualify for the entire amount, we have homeschoolers who are perfectly willing to trade in this hard won freedom to homeschool as we see fit. 

 Granted, most of those that are fighting so hard for these little pennies haven't actually homeschooled very long.  They don't remember, or know anyone, who fought the good fight just so they have the right to homeschool, at all.  While that's no excuse, it's at least a reasonable explanation for why anyone would trade in their absolute freedom to homeschool, for an assumption that they won't change those freedoms...even though all history and precedence clearly say there's no truth in that assumption.  Frankly, I think it's sad and very much like watching a special interest group being born.  

A special interest group is simply a group of people who seek to influence legislators to act in their favor.  Homeschoolers actually believe they have that power and that's astounding to me.  The vast majority of the public are ignorant to homeschooling and what it actually involves because their primary interaction with homeschoolers is from Wife Swap or that one awkward kid they know who happened to be homeschooled. (Because there's not a single awkward kid in public schools, right?!...I digress)  

 Homeschooling is political because we offend the NEA and because we've finally reached large enough numbers to begin to concern those who's money will be affected by homeschoolers.  This, and only this, keeps us in the political arena.  When we breach the 10% mark, we'll have to fight tooth and nail to keep the government out of our business...if we don't first bend over for the money.  Also all special interest groups seek something that has a personal interest to them and them alone.  

The thing that makes homeschoolers special is that we're talking about our kids.  Not guns, or our sexual partner, or some Union who wants more money...but our CHILDREN.  And while some may be willing to sell themselves and their rights to home educate for 1500.00 dollars and fool themselves into believing that the government would never come in to regulate them, history tells a much different story.  Even slanted history books tend to show that anytime you receive from the government, you will also give to the government. We are talking about our children, and I want no part of this. 

Happy New Year...2013

Is anyone else flabbergasted that it's 2013?  I mean, seriously.  When I was a kid, Terminator was telling me in 2029 we'll have cyborgs with human skin and cars that could float.  I'm kinda looking forward to the floating cars.  I think I'll skip the cyborgs.  It seems like Y2K was yesterday and the whole Mayan thing with the world ending in 2012 was kind of awkward, wasn't it?   Time is stealing my babies and the world seems to be turning a little quicker these days.

We don't make resolutions around our house...we're more into what we'd like to accomplish in the coming year.  Resolutions just seem so rigid and stiff.  So, here's my "2013 goals I'd like to accomplish":

1.  I want to stick to my Scripture Memory team's guidelines and FINISH the race on memorizing at least 2 Scriptures a month.  That may seem low to some of you, but I want to MEMORIZE them.  The kind of memorization that means you can whip them out as fast as you can the days of the week, not just "pass the test" and then forget 'em. 

2.  Finish my book. 

3.  Learn to knit.  I know that sounds lame, but I actually want to learn how to make something that I can give as a gift.  Something that my kids, friends, parents, etc...will cherish.  I'm not crafty (that's a kind way to say how not crafty I am), so this one will pose a challenge for me. 

4.  Travel  more.  I'd like to go to some really out of the way places. 

5.  Have family night every week.  Just do something with my kiddies and my man with no distractions, no phones, no emails...just us doing something fun and together. 

If you have something you'd like to share for your New Year, I'd love to hear it!!!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Characteristics of a Codependent

Codependent is a tough word.  Not just because it makes you sound like something's wrong with you, but because it's also very hard to define.  It's hard to define because the spectrum of what is, and is not, a codependent is so broad.  Everyone exhibits some characteristics of codependency at some time or another in just about every relationship that they have.  However, you cross over into Crazyville when these characteristics define you more often than they don't.  Crazyville has been visited by every adult at some point in their lives, but it's those of us who take up residence there that need help. Understanding is the beginning of helping yourself. 

Here's a short list to help you determine if you've taken up residence, or if you've just passed through, or are passing through:

1.  True codependents have a very difficult time saying, "No".  Just no.  No explanation, no added words to justify our "No".  Just no. 

2.  They are very often irritated when someone doesn't take their "help" to heart.  After all, what's the point in helping if they won't listen, right?  (you need to insert sarcasm into that last part)  Most often, a codependent offers "help" whether they're asked for it or not.  Then they feel a little pissed when their helpful advice isn't taken and applied.  They can even victimize themselves because if you'd just have listened you wouldn't be in the mess you're in.  (more sarcasm there)

3.  Do you have a history of addiction in your family?  Either immediate or extended?  There's almost always (I use the term "almost" very loosely, there) a codependent somewhere around addiction. 

4.  Do you judge everything you do, think or want very harshly?  Sometimes to the point that your internal voice tells you that you aren't good enough, or simply aren't enough, period?   Do you walk away from simple conversations questioning everything you said to see if it was the "right" thing to say?  Do you call yourself "fat", "stupid", "silly", "dumb", etc...inside your head in a condemning way?

5.  Do you constantly seek attention, or recognition, for everything you do or what you think you "deserve"? 

6.  Do you do things for others so that they'll "like you"?  Do you lavish material things on people so they'll "like" you or think you're a good person?  Do you offer your time to people, so that they'll think you're "selfless" and caring?

7.  Do you do _________ ( fill in the blank), so that others will ______________(fill in the blank)?   Instead of simply asking for what you need or want, you try to do something so that you will "get" something.  This is manipulation at it's finest.  Recognize it for what it is.

8.  Does your need to feel needed become the basis for your relationships?  In other words, if someone doesn't openly express their "need" of you, then they must not really like you or think you're important and you can't be content unless you're needed somewhere.  You become restless and have feelings of low self-worth if you aren't "helping" or aren't "needed" somewhere by someone.

9.  Does your self-worth come from what others think of you?  If someone doesn't like you do you go out of your way to "make" them like you?  Even going so far as doing something you actually don't like so that they'll like you better?  

10.  Do you say yes when you really mean no?    The Bible tells us that God doesn't recognize something given under compulsion, but only a cheerful giver.  In other words, when you give when you don't really want to, only because you feel like you "should" or because you can't say no, then you aren't doing anyone a kindness...especially yourself. 

11. Do you communicate evasively to avoid confrontation? Would you rather just agree, even when something is very wrong and needs to be addressed?  I'm talking about when confrontation is needed, not just to be a jerk. There's a difference. 

12. Do you judge others extremely harshly?

13.  Are you a drama queen/king?  Everything is a huge deal, or you'll make it big deal.  Do you seek out drama and that's when you feel the most "alive"?

14.  Do you place your wants and needs on the back burner and justify that by saying that you're being a "good" person who gives of themselves and cares for others?  Do you do this to the point that your health, life, job, or other relationships have suffered? Do you justify doing this with your religion? 

15.  Do you stay in relationships that you know aren't healthy because you want to be "loyal" and thought of in a "positive" light by others? 

16.  Do you often feel numb to your emotions?  Have been in a situation where you know you should be angry/sad/happy and yet couldn't feel the feeling?  Did you fake a feeling because you "should" feel it?

17.  Does your personality change depending on who you are around?  Do you know you do that, but can't stop doing it or see nothing wrong with changing who you are to fit the "group"? 

18.  Do you fear stating your true thoughts, emotions, needs, wants, etc...and tell yourself that you're simply "avoiding confrontation"?   Or do you do this so that others won't know the real you or so that someone/anyone will like you more? Do you think you'll be viewed as "weak" if you cry or express a need that you can't meet on your own? 

19.  Do you try to control the behavior of other people by manipulation, lying, whining, ignoring them, withdrawing emotionally, with sex, etc...?  Do you think that if you lose control of something, it will all just fall to pieces? 

While this list doesn't cover all aspects of co-dependency, it's a very good start. If you answered yes to most or even half of these questions, you could pick up a book at the library to study more about what codependency is and what it is not, or call a shrink.  Being healthy is a GOOD thing!!  

Truth and Codependency

I've been absent for a while.  I missed some of you who read and email me regularly.  I've had good reason to be away and I've decided to share that with you guys.  Mostly because I'm starting to believe that every single experience we have is for our good.  And then it's so we can share to help someone else.  Maybe lots of someones....

My grandfather died of cirrhosis of the liver.  One of my uncles, that same grandfather's son, was an alcoholic.  Both my brothers are addicts/alcoholics. Actually, my oldest brother died this year and you can read about that here if you'd like.  I have at least 5 cousins who are addicts/alcoholics. One is actually seeking help right now and has given guardianship of her only child to someone else in our family while she enters rehab.  I've been married twice and both my ex and my current are recovering alcoholics/addicts.  To say that addiction may have affected my life would be like saying if you jump off the roof, you might hit the ground.

I've learned some whacked out stuff by being surrounded by addicts since birth.  I've learned that addicts are the best liars known to man.  No really...they can look you in the face and hold your hand, while you're crying and begging, and tell you that they did not, do not, will not EVER, relapse, no matter what...ever.  And they'll have a vodka bottle hidden somewhere with pills stuffed in their pocket.  Literally.  They will be stealing from your purse while they kneel at your feet begging your forgiveness.  I am NOT exaggerating that information, people.

I've learned that addiction is like a disease but not like a disease. Cancer is a straight out disease. Arthritis is a disease.  You usually just get those through no fault of your own and do the best you can with the treatments that are available. You hope. Addiction is like that in that you have something that is ravaging you and everyone around you.  The difference is that the addict actually IS the cure.  They have to CHOOSE to no longer seek out their disease.  It's a conundrum.  Yeah...let's go with that.  A conundrum is defined as a riddle who's answer is or involves a pun.  Addiction is a conundrum. The addict HAS a disease (sort of) AND the addict themselves, literally, hold the cure inside themselves, too. You don't have much hope with addiction.  You have to have will power, conviction and lots of therapy to readjust your thinking. Forever.  Yeah...it's a long process, but worth it.

I've learned that addiction can't successfully exist without a codependent.   There may be some argument to that statement, but it's absolute truth based on everything I've ever experienced.  Alcohol and dope don't buy themselves.  Money doesn't grow on trees.  They have to get money to fund their addiction.  Most addicts don't own homes (not usually for long, anyway) and they have to have somewhere to live.  Addicts don't work for long periods at the same place and someone has to take up the slack.  Addicts have to eat, too. I've yet to see food grow on trees for longer than a few months if you include fruit trees, so someone is feeding them.  Addicts lose interest in everything but themselves and yet you see them everywhere...always with someone.  That someone will be their codependent if the addict is practicing.  It's typically a spouse or parent who falls into this role.  They do it to "help".  ...you can't hear or see me, but I actually grimace every single time I read or type that word in relation to an addict in the context I'm using the word...

I've learned that addicts can't be "helped", unless you include the word "self" before the word help.  The only kind of help that an addict can get is self-help.  Period.

I am codependent.  Can you be patient with me while I re-type that for myself? (it's the first time I've said it to anyone but myself, my husband and my therapist)  I am co-dependent.  Even knowing that every person on the planet is "f"ing crazy in one way or another, it has been so dang hard for me to accept.  That I am codependent is still hard for me.  But, I guess that's better than not knowing what the heck was wrong with me as I gave the illusion that control was my middle name.  Unless you knew me VERY well (I have two people who knew me well enough to know better...in my entire life, up to this point), most people would have told you that I was in charge, controlled and "had it together".

Can I whisper to you that I so did not have it together?  I can distinctly remember at least 10 times that people used that phrase directly to my face and everything inside me would recoil....because I knew it was a lie.  And one that I had worked very, very hard to cultivate.  It was BS.  Sorry about that.  But, I'm pretty sure that it also saved me.  Had I not worked hard at control, I damn well may have broken into about 4,693 pieces by the time I was 21....just splattered out on the ground. We all have to get there at our own pace, I guess.

I read a great story just last week that will better define what I mean.  I'll paraphrase it here:

Bill's parents came to see a well known addiction counselor in their area about their son.  Bill was 24, lived at home, didn't work and had friends who lived very sketchy lives, as well.  He was on drugs and drank heavily.  Bill, of course, didn't think he had a problem.  So, Bill's parents were coming to get Bill some help.

"Where's Bill", the counselor asked after speaking to them for 15 minutes or so.

"Well, Bill didn't want to come because he doesn't think he has a problem", replied his parents.

"Maybe, he doesn't", said the counselor.

With mouths hanging open, both parents sputtered that of course Bill has problems.  "Didn't you just hear anything we said?!  We've sent him to three colleges and he's quit them all!!  We've paid for rehab.  We've bought him two cars so he could get back and forth to work, but he's wrecked them both and STILL doesn't work. He totaled the last one so badly we were afraid to get him another one!  He lives in our basement and he'll be 25 in just two weeks!!!  Did you just say that he might not have any problems?!"...they both screeched, with voices ending somewhere around dog whistle level. 

"Yes, I did.  Let me rephrase", replied the counselor.  "You are taking responsibility for a grown man and you are miserable.  Your son, who is that grown man, is out of control, irresponsible and perfectly happy.  Does that about sum it up?"

"Yes",  both reluctantly replied.

"Well, would you like me to help you help Bill have some problems?", the counselor asked.

And then the light bulb very slowly and very reluctantly went off for both parents.  Over the course of a 6 month time frame, Bill's parents learned that they were codependent.  They learned what that means and how to heal themselves by letting their grown son grow up.  They learned to live THEIR lives and stop trying to control Bill's life.  They learned that only an addict can help themselves or they will forever be crippled by a disease that only they can cure. They may forever be crippled by it anyway...and the rest of the world is still not responsible.

Bill's parents were, obviously, co-dependent.

I'd like to tell you that Bill turned out perfectly and all is peachy keen.  I don't know that,  because the story ended there. I had to trust that while Bill may finally be miserable due to his life choices, that Bill's parents may have found peace and finally be dealing with their own lives instead of unsuccessfully trying to control Bill's life. I hope that Bill has sought out professional help because his misery was his own and not being owned by someone else.  I'm learning what that means for myself, too.

I began the early part of this year knowing that I had the ear of a publisher willing to possibly publish a book on the victims of addiction.  I'm not shelving that, but right now we are negotiating the possibility of writing a much more needed book about codependency and how to heal from that.  Right now, that book inside me feels like one that is terribly needed by so many.

Co-dependents don't JUST surround addicts, by the way.  All addicts have co-dependents, but co-dependents don't always have an addict.  Workaholics, that person that can NEVER say no, that gossipy chick who knows everyones business but her own, or even that drama queen who needs drama to feel anything because she is so numb...those are ALL co-dependents. They have "other" control and no "self" control.  Yeah, we all know one and you can trust me when I tell you that they are internally miserable. 

I would like to encourage anyone who is living their life trying to "help" an addict or even those who recognize that they have "other" control, but no self-control, to seek help.  You have a problem.  The good news is you do NOT have a disease.  You have a life that has been trained to respond wrongly to the needs and wants of someone else and to ignore what you need and want.  You have a life that is consumed with trying to control someone else or anyone but yourself. You are numb.  You have a life that is waiting on you out there in the real world and it's one that you deserve and is worth living.

You'll hear much more on this topic from me, but for right now I'm just going to say...  YOU ARE NOT ALONE and YOU ARE OK.  Find help, pray, get support and let go.  Just, let go...the world really will keep revolving when you do.  Who knows...you may actually find that the world has been quietly waiting for you to let go so you could become who YOU are supposed to be instead of trying to control what someone else has become.

 

Travel Tuesdays...Belize

Have you ever been somewhere that you loved and hated all at the same time?  Belize is like that for me.  We've visited twice, and both times I had this underlying sense of being a very privileged white girl that didn't really get how blessed she is, but also fell in love with the country and the people.  It's a love/hate thing.  Who really wants to look in the face of their seriously blessed life and realize that you didn't realize just how good you have it?  Yeah.  No one.  And on the other hand, that same blessed white girl had the opportunity to talk to people who make me see the world differently.  That's how Belize affected me and probably why I haven't written about it sooner.

The main temple and worship courtyard.

Anyway, if you want to see some COOL Mayan ruins,  cruise the River Wallace, or see some majorly large cashew farms in Central America...Belize is the place!  Oh yeah, it's in the Caribbean, so they have pretty water and beaches, too.  As a bonus on those beaches, the second largest barrier reef in the world runs along the Belize coast.  National Geographic can NOT do it justice.  You really have to see it.  (the largest is, of course, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia)  Belize is essentially a scuba freaks small heaven.  Can I tell you that being underwater creeps me out? I like being at the top of the food chain, so when I'm potentially not, like in the ocean, I get postal.  Seriously.

There's rum in the Caribbean.  Yeah, I know. You're shocked.  Belize carries that tradition by having their 1st annual Sugar City Rum Festival in October of this year.  So, if you're looking to have a Mardi Gras in the Caribbean, here's your chance, people. 

The only warning about Belize, which is more likely overkill if you know anything about this region:  it's poor.  I mean, really poor.  The people don't have fancy anything and some of them do beg for your dollars.  For the most part, we found Belizeans to be our cup of tea. They are SO friendly and welcoming.  You're their largest income as a tourist, so get out there and meet them.  They WANT to please you and they WANT to talk to you.  Frankly, we enjoyed Belizean people as much as we enjoyed Belize.  We talked to some other privileged white folks and you'd think that anyone who isn't American is going to shoot you in the head.  Don't believe it.  They're just people who live in a 3rd world country.  It's not a disease, people.  It's just their circumstances.

We loved their joy, their beauty and their very unique culture that's a combination of Creole (I think they spell it Kriole), African, Spanish and European.  Queen Elizabeth is actually the "Queen of Belize", but the Prime Minister of Belize is the executive authority.  (there's your little history lesson for the day!!)

The pics:

The opening of the River Wallace. This tour is about 2 hours long, but ends at a restaurant called the Black Orchid. The BEST jerk chicken and beans and rice...EVER. 

Look at those root systems on those trees!!  Life will always find a way, huh?!

Altun Ha Mayan ruins

Altun Ha means "Water of the Rock". 

Possibly a sacrifice alter across from the King's home in the middle of the ruins.  Could also be a tribute to his dead wife.  The irony wasn't lost on me.

See those people on top of the alter?  Those are my people waving down at me!! It was 93 degrees in the middle of the jungle with 100% humidity...in JANUARY.  I was a total weenie and sat it out.  No regrets.  My kids thought it was the coolest thing ever that they could climb on these ruins, though.  It is, literally, surrounded by nothing but jungle.  It takes over an hour from the coast to reach this location.  It's worth it.

We plan to revisit Belize to see more historical sites, Caulker's Caye, cashew farms (did you know that the cashew is surrounded by a plant so poisonous that the fumes kill you?!), go cave tubing(this is on my bucket list!!) and their Amish. (yeah, they have Amish there, too!)  This is a place that pulls at your heart and affects you.  Belize has culture, history, political strife and people who are open and willing to really talk to you.  We love Belize and appreciate it deeply.  Go with an open heart and an open mind and you'll find that the world is huge and small...all at the same time.  Go live, people!! 

Travel Tuesdays....Jacksonville, Fla.

My typical destination of choice is more exotic than the locale we're visiting today, but Jacksonville made an impression on me and I wanted to share it with you.  We've visited this rather unexpected city many times, and each time I'm more and more impressed.  I'm not a fan of large(ish) cities and I'm not a fan of the hustle and bustle that accompany them.  Frankly, the average American city rarely impresses me as somewhere I'd encourage people to travel if they want to really discover new experiences, but Jacksonville just surprised me.  I hope she surprises you, as well.

The layout of this sea side town is extremely efficient and I am a fan of all things efficient.  The roads make sense, which always surprises me in a city larger than a thimble. If you don't understand what I mean, I encourage you to visit Washington D.C..  This is a city who's labyrinth of streets are as twisted as a single wide trailer caught in a Southern tornado of mammoth proportions. I digress.  Jacksonville has well laid out roads that are simple to understand and follow, and this is important!  We didn't get lost.  Not once.  For me, this created the initial opportunity to really enjoy the city and all it offers.  How much does Jacksonville offer?  Much, much more than you'd probably expect.

 Jacksonville Main Street is the center of a 44 square block area that has been undergoing a sort of rehab and preservation since 1999. Within this preservation of the history of Jacksonville, there's an active nightlife, the Landing, museums, an exceptional zoo and much more that we really felt offers something for everyone.  There's also the Main Street Bridge, also known as the John T. Alsop, Jr. Bridge, that creates spectacular night views from almost every downtown location. There's just something about a good view, isn't there?

There's a very laid back feel to Jacksonville that also impressed me.  The people weren't friendly in the way that many Southerners are friendly, but they have a vibe that gives the city a relaxed, easy feeling.  We enjoyed that and I think that you may, as well.

We had so many surprises in Jacksonville that I doubt I can cover them all, but here's a few highlights that you may be interested in:

1.  The Museum of Science and History in downtown Jacksonville.  This is an interactive museum that is referred to as the MOSH.  Our kids went wild for this place!  It's a hand-on dream of a museum with everything from anatomy, astronomy (with a planetarium!!), dinosaurs and fun physics lessons that are completely interactive!  They're open 7 days a week and the cost is 10 dollars for adults and only 8 dollars for kids.  You really can't beat this place for a fun, educational day.

2.  The zoo.  The Jacksonville Zoo is spectacular.  It's clean, well laid out and easily accessible.  All good things!  The silver back gorilla made me sad, but I'm still glad I went.  He's above spectacular, by the way.  He's regal and gorgeous.

3.  The Landing.  This place is the hot spot for all nightlife in Jacksonville.  You cannot see or do it all here in one night.  Here's another neat thing:  Jacksonville doesn't just have well laid out roads.  There's a water taxi that will take you from one location to another up and down the Main Street area.  Our hotel happened to be right on the waterway, so we would walk out to the Riverwalk that lines the area, hop on the water taxi and go just about any area we wanted to go to find active nightlife. 

4.  The Riverwalk.  While the riverwalk was a very easy way to hop the water taxi, it's also a great place to run in the mornings, which many people did, or walk it for a spectacular night view of St. John's River and the Landing.  This is completely free!

5.  Kingsley Plantation.  This is FREE, educational and interesting.  You don't find that much, do ya?

6.  San Marco Square. This is located about 5 miles from downtown Jacksonville and here is where the upscale shoppers will be happy.  The square is loaded with quaint little boutiques to satisfy every shoppers whim.  It's lovely and packed with charm.

7. Riverside/Five Points.  This area is at the heart of the funky arts district that Jacksonville quietly excels at.  There's jewelry and handmade works from all over the world to be found here.  We really had a spectacular time just window shopping and seeing all the unique offerings, but there's certainly plenty to buy if that's your bag.  There's also some great little coffee/tea shops here, as well.  Sit a while and take in the vintage clothing stores that sit alongside the edgy and trendy.  It's encouraged here. There is a mesh of old and new here that will interest anyone who cares to slow down and look.

A few pics to encourage you:

The Jacksonville skyline and Main Street Bridge.  The Landing is almost directly under this bridge.

Us strolling the Riverwalk that runs on both sides of the river.  We really utilized this.

The Museum of Science and History located downtown.

Yep...a possum.  He lives at the MOSH.

The cleanest zoo...ever. 

The cruises that leave from Jacksonville pass directly under this bridge.  They miss hitting it by a mere few feet!

A Jacksonville beach sunset. Because yes...there's also tons of beaches here, too.  

If you find yourself with a free day while in Jacksonville, you've also got the option of hitting lots of local beaches, or taking in a Jaguars game, or heading about an hour away to St. Augustine, which is absolutely beautiful and fun all by itself, or visiting any number of local parks.  We found Jacksonville to be one of the most surprising places we've ever visited. It flat out delivered more than we were expecting.  So, if money is an issue, or you simply don't have the time to go anywhere else with your busy schedule, we think you'll be surprised to find that everyone will find something that interests them here.  Get out there and live!