Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"No" is a complete sentence...

Hello blogworld...I hope all has been well with you!

     I've had a little something on my mind this week, and I thought I'd share it with you: Women have a hard time saying "No".  Women have an even harder time saying it in a way that makes it clear, it's a complete sentence. "No", is a complete sentence!

      I watched a girlfriend of mine struggle with this to the point that she ran herself physically ragged...and to be honest, I don't get it.  This is not something I struggle with.  I suppose my personality is such that I simply don't think that someone else's idea of what I should be doing with my time is nearly as important as what I feel I should be doing with my time.

     Here's some pointers to help all of you out who simply cannot say "no", even when it's very important that you do! 

Number One:  If you get that sinking feeling in your stomach the minute the person asks you to do something, then you need to take some time before answering.  Tell them flat out that you're going to pray about it and think it over, and you'll get back to them.  Period.  You do NOT have to explain yourself!

Number Two:  If activities and things in your life begin to take up so much of your time that you cannot remember the last time you actually had quiet time, then you need to diligently reduce the activities in your life. You are doing too much!  You cannot do anything well without also taking the time to ground yourself, and collect your thoughts.  You cannot take care of anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself!

Number Three:  Just because you're free when they ask doesn't mean that you have to say "yes".  You can still say no simply because you do not WANT to do whatever it is you're being asked to do!  You are not required by law to spend every waking moment filled with guilt because you aren't doing something.  You are not required to justify that, either.  If you feel uncomfortable with free time, you may need to think that through.  Relaxation IS required, on occasion!

Number Four:  Understand that you are NOT being asked because you are so stinkin' awesome.  You are being asked because you are the person who most often responds with a "yes".  When your time is a commodity in YOUR eyes, then you'll know what activities to give the affirmative nod.  As long as your time means so little to you that you'll allow others to dictate how it's spent, you'll continue to be asked to be on ALL the committees, not the ones that you are most gifted at.  (heck, with your schedule, you may not even know what your gifts actually are!)

Last but not least:  Recognize that some people are going to be offended because you will not allow them to dictate where, when, how, etc...that you spend your God given time.  Learn to recognize this for what it is:  Someone who is not interested in you, your time or whether things get done well.  People who are offended at you for good time management are people you probably should avoid, anyway!  Lose the guilt.  Drop it off like the baggage it is, stomp on it like a roach and walk away from it.  Guilt is NOT your friend!

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