Why so Serious?

I saw an elderly woman pushing her seemingly more elderly husband around Wal-Mart today in a nifty wheelchair/grocery cart.  And then I saw them again. And then, we almost ran slam over each other in the bread aisle. We laughed and side stepped each other. 

And THEN, they slipped in behind me in the check out line and we smiled at each other and I was sure they were thinking what I was thinking:  Lord, are you trying to show me something with these encounters with this sweet couple?  

But I guess God was showing them something else entirely because they started playing with the compulsion items and laughing and talking and basically ignoring me as I was staring them down. And stare them down, I did. He tossed her the items he could reach from his wheelchair and she slowly lifted the other items from the bottom of the wheelchair/grocery cart onto the belt as I began to load my final bags into my cart and whip out my debit card. And then, I stared some more. I don't think they noticed. They were still goofing around and being happy or they may have been whispering to ignore the lady who keeps staring. I don't know for sure.

After I pushed and pulled all the bags from my buggy into the back of my SUV, I climbed into the driver's seat and started to cry.  I cry more now than I did when I was younger. I guess it could totally be hormones but I think I cry more now because life and all the things in it just seem more important to me now. 

Things like sweet elderly couples who are having a blast in Wal-Mart even though his legs don't work anymore and are kind of crooked.  It makes me realize that perseverance is underrated and that running the race sometimes means being faithful and good and kind in the simple things that are often the hardest things.

 It's important to remember to run the race in such a way that we remember that all the runners are running, but only one can have the prize. Only I get the prize in MY life and perseverance will often determine what my prize will be and how my blessings pan out. That's serious stuff right there. 

Things like a bread aisle that is packed with so many kinds of bread that I actually get to mash around on the loaves to see which one is the softest before picking one. I mean, for pete's sake, who wants a loaf of bread that will be old in like three days, right? Major 1st world problem there, but I forget sometimes and I don't want to forget because it's the little things that sneak up on us and make us ungrateful. And being ungrateful is serious to me (just ask my kids when they're ungrateful) but not quite as serious as being grateful (just ask my kids when they have grateful hearts). 

Or things like fresh fruit in the winter. Ya'll they had ORGANIC bananas in Wal-Mart today of all places. I may have done a weird dance for a second but I don't think anyone saw me. The older I get, I'm not sure I even care. It was like the food lottery up in there.

That moment of thankfulness stayed with me all day and I don't want to miss being thankful. That is SUPER serious to me. I want to share all the things I'm thankful for with others and I hope God will one day give me a change to do just that.

And then, my brain goes like this:  People are hungry.  People are lonely. People are lost. People are cold. People are killing each other. Mothers have lost their babies. Fathers have lost their sons. Wives have lost their husbands. People are hurt. And people are hurting.  And I'm worried about a freakin' piece of bread being fresh and whether I have organic bananas!  And then I cry.  

...I already know it's neurotic...thanks...

But, here's the thing: I think sometimes the world could be a little more serious. I think we could care more. Love more. Live more. Give more. I think we can not only do the hard things, I think things are going to get harder if we don't get serious about doing the hard things right now.

I think if we don't start finding joy in simple things like organic bananas at Wal-Mart and sweet elderly couples who haven't lost their love for one another, we're going to lose our joy at the big things. We're going to forget that there are big things and our hearts get hard and our attention gets sucked into ourselves like a big 'ole fat, narcissistic black hole instead of looking outward at a world that is starving not only for food, but for love.  

We need to get serious about where we find our joy and what makes our hearts break. We need to remember that only broken hearts let anything into them. The cracks and breaks are where the love and empathy and compassion live. 

Our world is turning into a place where people just can't take focusing on the heartbreak of the world because it gets them down. I've heard more than once in the last few months that I just take things more serious than other people. But here's the thing:  If our hearts don't break, then whose will?  If we don't take the broken, lost, hurting world and believe that the broken and the lost and the hurting people are serious business, then who will? 

I think that we must surrender ourselves to something other than ourselves. And watching this elderly wife push her husband around Wal-Mart today made me remember that.  She was happy serving him, pushing him along, being his legs when his no longer worked.  She glowed. And you know...so did he. 

I want to believe that's how it works. I want to believe that through serving, even when it's really hard, we find our joy and our purpose. I want to believe that when we choose to seriously love, we experience God.  I need to believe it. There is joy to be had in being serious about something outside ourselves. And that's a serious thing.

I'm going to own up and just admit that the older I get the more I realize I don't know. Every day I feel dumber, y'all.  I realize how little I actually understand and how little I grasp fully.  I realize that my belief that I could change the world almost killed me, but...

But here's one little thing that I think I've finally got by it's hem:  We're in this thing together and we need to take that seriously. We need to just wake up tomorrow and be kinder.  We need to wake up tomorrow and serve something outside ourselves if we're going to make our world a little bit better, even if it's just me one day pushing my elderly husband around in a wheelchair/grocery cart thing in Wal-Mart and laughing in the compulsion aisle while a younger lady looks on and smiles (neurotically) at our joy because we persevere and we have faith and we took our part in this world seriously.

Why I Don't Read The Matt Walsh Blog Anymore

My Facebook is often filled with people sharing Matt Walsh's blog posts so a few months ago I decided I'd join the party and read his blog. Since I'm pretty outspoken and blunt, I figured Matt and I would have tons to agree about as well as an opportunity for me to learn from someone many others I know deem to be someone worthy of learning from. I was right. And I was wrong. 

I usually like the topics that Matt writes about but think his delivery is extremely polarizing and, more often than not, designed to get a rise more than actually create debate for people to try and understand one another. The funny thing is, Matt often uses that point to criticize someone who writes to him and uses aggressive tactics.

For me, I think one reason the church is failing so badly at reaching the lost is because many stand and scream at them about how bad they are and refuse to simply ask..."How are you?" "What do you need?" or, like the post Matt wrote to his daughter a few weeks ago, "I think you're beautiful", which was precious and encouraging. When's the last time we told someone lost, "I know someone who thinks you're so beautiful He died of his Love for you. Can I serve you and tell you about Him?" I don't think we (or Matt Walsh) will ever bring someone to Christ and the love He offers by writing excellent content (that sometimes make us laugh and often makes us feel "right") without also showing them Christ.

When Christ told the women at the well all her sins, she didn't leave feeling less than or bad or like a...well, whore, even though her entire village said that's exactly what she was! She left feeling loved, understood and cared for to the degree that she couldn't wait to reach her village and tell them all about this wonderful man who knew all her sin and didn't make her feel like dirt under his shoe (even though she really was dirt under HIS sandal!).

Rarely do I see a post by Matt that makes me think Christ would be glorified and seen as....For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only begotten Son. Most of his posts make me think that Christians are jerks who always think they're right and make me feel like a loser for not being as perfect as they think they are and I AM a follower of Jesus Christ. What about someone who doesn't know Christ? What lost person would want to be a part of a group of people who laugh at their hurt, mock their shame and think it's cool to sarcastically make points at their expense? (come to think of it...what sane person would want to be a part of that kind of constant judgment and pressure to seem perfect?!)

I often wonder how someone lost, hurting, alone, abused, abusing, etc...feels. Christ ate with those people. He ministered to those people. He didn't often break bread with people that thought they already had it all figured out (which were primarily the "religious" people of His day!!). I'd love to see someone with Matt's readership reach the people who will live apart from Christ forever simply because they didn't know...KNOW...that Christ loves them. He loves them where they are, just like they are. I don't want to be the Pharisee who stands around asking Christ's followers, "Why are you eating with THOSE people?  They're a bunch of sinners!"  Newsflash: I once was lost, but now I'm found. I was THOSE people and sometimes, to my shame, I occasionally still am. I find myself on my knees so many mornings repenting, praying and seeking God's face because I need Him. Because without Him, I am still "those people".

"The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: God, I thank you that I am not like the other men- robbers, evildoers, adulterers- or even like this tax collector".  Luke 18:11

Matt's great at sensationalizing and making me feel like I'm right, but I'm not called to be "right". I am called to seek the face of the only One who has ever been "right" and to bring glory to God.  I'm called to love God and love my neighbor as I love myself. Matt's blog rarely feels like love to me. His blog doesn't reflect the Christ of the Bible who ate with the worst sinners of His time or washed the disciples feet or loved the world enough to die for it. His blog doesn't reflect the Son of God who died without sin so that I could be made new. His blog doesn't remind me that Christ loves me fully, even when I'm not very loveable. And had Matt's blog been what I'd run into when I was struggling and alone and bitter and hurt...who can say how long I would have run from my Savior who loves me?  I'm not saying we can't tell someone of their sin in "love", but it's awfully important that we actually love them FIRST. 

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that?"  Matt. 5:46-47.

Update:  I actually wrote part of this post as a reply to a sweet friend on Facebook.  Since then, Matt has posted his response to Robin Williams' death and I am even more thankful that I have removed him from my reading list.