For Dakota Which Turned into Being For Me

Today we're celebrating our youngest son's 19th birthday.

 My baby boy is 19 and I am a little mad about it. The years just go by so dang fast while the days get pokey and sometimes long and seem to drag by and so we miss more than we'd hoped.

How did this kid, who decided when I was 8 months pregnant it'd be super cool to show up a month early and break my water at 2am so his Dad would ask me if I'm absolutely certain I didn't just pee in the bed, suddenly, but also painfully slowly and beautifully minute by minute, become an almost not teenager?!

But, here we are.

Here I am and there are so many memories. 

I remember being pregnant with him and David's complete fascination with all that moving going on in his wife's belly.

I remember the minute he took his first breath. Literally, the second he took his first breath.

I remember he had SO MUCH HAIR. That hasn't changed.

I remember his Daddy's very first words as he laid eyes on his son for the 1st time:  "Oh my God. He looks exactly like me!" This was said as I am literally laid out on the operating table having the C-section and Dakota was still blue and cheesy hanging upside down in Dr. Davis' hands. And yes, he looks exactly like his Daddy, minus the blue and cheese.

I remember his first car ride. I remember his first outfit because I totally saved it. I remember his first favorite food and how he ate those PB & J's every single lunch for almost 5 straight years.

I remember his first words and his first steps and every single first of Dakota's life.

I also meticulously wrote them down in his baby book because he was only baby number 2 and those things were just so precious to do! I also had time to do them, which disappears after baby number 3 and I think we have like 9 pictures of baby number 4's first 3 years. Maybe. Anyway...

And so today, I'm reflecting on this spectacular kid who is now not really a kid, but a young man. I'm reflecting on how precious I'd intended to be as a Mom and ALL. THE. PLANS.

Plans that mostly didn't pan out but we had SO many art supplies in case I did morph into crafty Mom.

Turns out, this kid didn't need me to be crafty (Jesus is good, yall!). He could just draw everything!!! He could sketch actual things and I could tell what they were by the time he was 2 years old. He loved colors and shapes and pretty much anything that was artsy, just like his Dad. I enjoyed the final results, though, and that totally counts whether I participated or not.

My refrigerator was a plethora of pictures and shapes and abstracts and any kind of art that could be created.

We were going to eat all organic and maybe even never have meat but this kid really loves chicken nuggets, so what was pretend organic Mom to do with all those organic PLANS?  I fed that kid chicken nuggets and chocolate milk like I'd never heard of organic and didn't look back.

We even ate cheese out of a can and loved it. Judge away. That crap is good.

So many plans. Whatever.

I was also never, ever going to scream like crazy Mom and only watch documentaries. Again, whatever.

It turns out that the plan was all bogus nonsense. I will begrudgingly admit that the canned cheese is probably a less good choice than say...straight up spoonfuls of sugar, but it was still good.

It turns out that this kid was great, even with my screw ups. This boy of mine who loves art and comedy and drama and will discuss the National Enquirer like it is an actual publication of facts and have me in laughter tears turned out so great and so yummy I can't help but wonder if he didn't teach me as much I've ever taught him.

This man boy of mine who scared the fun right out of me sometimes because I so desperately wanted to do it all "right",  is able to see past that and hear my heart to stand against injustices in the world and love people more than we love ideas.

This young man who doesn't mince words, but has a kindness in him that shines so brightly he often takes my breath away.

He rarely leaves the house without first hugging me and telling me he loves me.

This young man of mine who sets his very own alarm for work on Saturdays without a single nudge from me! This cannot be underrated people.

This boy man who saves his money and discusses finances with his parents because he has his own plans. This financially savvy young man of mine who diligently oversees his checking and savings accounts because he knows it matters.

I know God has a different plan than any we could imagine for our kids. I know God will take our current plans and move them like gnats to get us where we need to be and yet...looking at this man child of mine who has surpassed every single plan I didn't even know I wanted fills me with both peace and, maybe, a bit of longing.

Longing for a time when he was safely tucked into my arms.

And still...that isn't God's plan. God intends my boy to stand on his own one day. He means for my boy to grow into a man. The kind of man who hears His voice and heeds the call.

I know the call for you is something precious, Dakota. You know it's now in your hands and I want you to know that I trust you. You are so trustworthy and your heart is so good and even with the teeny bit of longing I have for when you were little, I am so at peace watching you run your own life. Man, you are good at it! 

And I could not be prouder. You are so dang good at adulting already that I can't even stand it.

One reminder, son:  We're here. We're never more than a phone call or a word away. Your Dad and I have your back and you are one of our greatest treasures. You're so deeply loved and cherished and we are in awe of just how cool you actually are. :)

We love you, son.

We admire you and we are over here on the sidelines cheering you on, believing a life of adventure and courage and integrity for you.

I'll be the loudest one on the sidelines in the "Dakota's Mom" t-shirt and I will happily make you chicken and dumplings or homemade chili for the rest of your life. I'm just saying...

Forever and Always and Beyond,
Mom

When Jesus Came to Hang Out for Two Days

Here's a story for you:

Back in Jesus' day, the Pharisees, Sadducee and religious leaders walked to Jerusalem because, you know, they didn't have cars. The shortest route to Jerusalem from a lot of places the leaders lived or met was straight through Samaria. 

Samaritans were ostracized by church leaders and Jews back then kind of like certain groups are ostracized by church goers today (nothing new under the sun, people). 

So, these church leaders would walk AROUND Samaria to get to Jerusalem. The first time I read that in a concordance and did the research I almost laughed. Ya'll, it added almost a week to their travel. 

A WEEK!!!!!!!

If something is gonna add 15 minutes to my travel time I get antsy. I would ride through pitch black forests with signs declaring Deliverance type antics with banjos playing in the background before adding A WEEK to my travel time.

But, these religiously pious leaders would walk around this city to avoid the Samaritans. What?!

Now listen, these two groups have a long history that we aren't going to cover here. A lot of it was that it's sometimes toughest to love your neighbor who is just next door, especially if their political, economic, social, religious rituals and customs don't match yours. With today's social media culture, fear is more common than love and hype is more common than grass growing outside. We're not good neighbors anymore, ya'll. We aren't. It's a little like the Samaritans and Jews out there.

So they avoided the people they didn't like and claimed God didn't like them, either.

Not Jesus. He walked right up in the middle of it. Smack dab through Samaria.

You may remember the woman at the well Jesus met and changed her life so much that she ran back into the town to tell everyone about this guy she'd met. He met her in Samaria.

This lady had been married 5 times and was currently living with number 6. She was at the well alone because she had to come at a time when the other women weren't getting water because she was such a "bad sinner" that she wasn't allowed to go with the other ladies.  I guess they thought her promiscuity would rub off or something. I don't know. 

Not Jesus. He cozied up and had a nice long conversation with her right there in public. 

And you know what? He didn't use her sinful life as a starting point in the conversation, nor did he point out how awesome He was for coming around and talking to her. He didn't act better than her or more enlightened than her or fearful of her. AND HE IS GOD. He just talked to her and swapped thoughts and conversed with her like she mattered. Know why? Because we all matter to God. Every single one of us.

In fact, it was her who said, "Hey. You're a Jew. In case you forgot, you guys don't talk to us" 

Jesus just says, "Yeah, that's how they do it here, but if you knew who I was you'd ask me for a drink and I'd give you some Living Water."  Basically, he's telling her he couldn't care less where she comes from or what the "rules" were, He'd still bless her if she'd let Him. Jesus is awesome like that.

She ends up telling Him all about herself and he said, "Yeah. That's true, you've done those things." He talks to her about a time that is coming when no one will have to come through Samaria to get to Jerusalem. He tells her that a time is coming when we can worship in our Spirit and in Truth. She's the first person he confirms fully that HE IS THE CHRIST. 

His disciples show up with some food about this time and they're like, "Ummm, Jesus? What in the world are you doing talking to this woman?"  They actually don't say that out loud; the Bible tells us they were just thinking it. Same thing, ya'll. Same thing.

After the woman leaves Jesus to go back into town and tell everyone she meets about this guy she met down at the well, the disciples try to get Jesus to eat. He says, I've got what I need. I'm eating bread from my Father. He tells them that his food, the thing that is sustaining Him, is to do the will of His father.

He tells them to open their eyes because the people needing Him, the Bread of Life and the Living Water, are all around them!! He tells them that God is showing them the harvest of souls! They are right in front of your face, He tells his closest pals. 

Boiling it down, Jesus tells them you are missing it because your eyes are closed with your preconceived notions and you need to get over yourselves. Samaritans NEED me, too, and you are letting your fear and your racism and your feelings and your ideas of what's right and wrong determine who YOU think is worthy!

Jesus pretty much made up the saying, "GET WOKE", ya'll. 

Look at all these people who need me so desperately and you are WALKING AROUND THEIR CITY TO AVOID HAVING TO SEE THEM.

About that time, lots of people from the town showed up at the well. Lots of Samaritans.They were coming because of all the woman had told them. You know people love to rubberneck. 

And you know what? He stayed in Samaria for TWO MORE DAYS because they asked Him to stay. He visited and hung out. He ate with them and loved on them. He taught them about God because He IS God so He kind of couldn't do anything else but be who He was and is and IS TO COME. (Jesus doesn't change. He'd still be hanging with the people others avoid.)

This Jew hung out in Samaria with people reviled by his people for two more days. And many were saved. 

And MANY were saved. 

Because Jesus showed up where religious people pretending to have it all figured out wouldn't go. Because Jesus just loved them. Because Jesus listened to them and loved them and ate with them and changed them.

They weren't saved because all those religious leaders of that day avoided them so they'd learn their lesson! Or because a Jew explained how wrong they were and the Samaritans suddenly understood how far off the track they were from being right. 

They weren't saved because they started being something other than a Samaritan. They weren't saved by anything other than the love Jesus poured on them and their willingness to accept it. 

So, I've been thinking. If Jesus showed up today -  just came back for a visit to hang out for two days - where would he show up?

California, maybe? (laugh...that was funny)  

Maybe a gay bar? This will smack with Evangelicals because homosexuality has become the mantra for sin and that mantra is becoming more important than the PEOPLE who are gay. This has nothing to do with Christ and he would NOT walk around a gay bar. He'd walk up in it and love those people made in HIS image. Period. And you know what? MANY WOULD BE SAVED. 

And then the restoration would start and it wouldn't look a thing like what we pretend it looks like today.

Maybe he'd show up in a Muslim mosque or smack dab in the middle of Mecca? Maybe close to that middle school with that kid who gets bullied, but they're weird and don't fit in so no one really pays it much attention? 

Maybe he'd show up in the middle of the ocean on a raft filled with Syrians refugees desperately trying to find safe harbor?

Maybe he'd show up with the young woman who just had an abortion? Maybe he'd show up at a riot in the middle of someone busting up someone's livelihood?  

AND MANY WOULD BE SAVED.

Here's what I know about Jesus, based on Scripture: 

He wouldn't spend much time at the places where people who claim to have Him all figured out were showing up, because the last time He showed up He didn't hang out with them much, either. 

He wouldn't show up anywhere that claimed to be sin free but Jesus filled because they'd stone Him...or hang Him. Those people loathe the real Jesus. He's radical and fearless and loving and doesn't much care what your rules are because HE makes the rules and He said to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, even if your neighbor has opposing political beliefs and comes from a different country and is gay and drinks too much and smokes a lot or wears immodest clothes or marches in rallies that you don't agree with or busts out windows in a riot. 

He said love them if they were snotty and judgemental and racist and self-righteous and self-absorbed and rude, too.

We don't get to make the rules. (Thank God!)

He wouldn't show up anywhere the lost didn't hang out. He wouldn't show up at a place that tried to keep the hurting and lost away with rules and regulations and judgements. 

He wouldn't show up at a place where money was more important than people without saying, "Give up your possessions (that thing you love more then ME) and then we'll talk".

He wouldn't show up where pious, religiousness forced people outside.

He'd show up in the very places that most people, especially religion loving people, wouldn't expect Him to go. 

His ways are not our ways. His ways rarely align with ways that make us comfortable in our flesh.

The narrow gate is shaped just like Jesus. It is a Jesus shaped gate. The only way through it is to accept that He's the ONLY way to it. You have to. 

But, Jesus didn't shove that down people's throat or yell at them standing on the street corner. 

He came where they were. He walked THROUGH Samaria. Not around it. He didn't avoid the lost and the hurting or the vile and oppressed or those with sin filled lives (that's all of us, in case you're confused on that point) or people different from Him . HE LOVED THEM AND WENT WHERE THEY LIVED.

I'm so thankful for that truth. I can't live up to all those other rules. I can't even get the head covering part in Corinthians right!

I can try the best I can with all the strength that I have and God will graciously give me the grace and love for what I can't handle, but I can't reach the bar of perfection. (pisses me off, too)

And then, Grace shows up and says, "You don't have to be perfect right now. You are perfect in Me but only because I am perfect. I'm here and I'm working on you and you're going to be OK. I'm not going anywhere. I love you. Now go and Love others. I'll do the rest."

And I can breath again. Grace says the same thing to everyone. This is what He says because He SO LOVES THE WORLD.

I'm called to submit MYSELF fully to God and to love OTHERS. That's my job.

Because that's what Jesus did. When his sandals met the dusty road on this planet, Jesus hung out with sinners. He hung out with those "Most Likely To NOT Get In Synagogue".  Shoot, He loved a guy He knew would betray Him so well the other 11 disciples didn't even know which one it would be! Jesus didn't play around with loving others exactly as they were, right where they happened to be.

Either we're going to be like Jesus, or we're going to make a ton of excuses about why we're right and we just can't do that.  There is no gray area.

Love is the narrow gate and we miss it every single day. It's so much harder than the wide gate. Hating and judging and conforming are what the world already does. Being fearful and refusing to bend, that's what the world does every day, all day. Doing those things confirms in our flesh that we are right and we humans LOVE to be right. We tend to lean unto our own understanding so often God has to warn us against it in the book of Psalms.

Pretending like our way is the law and we have it figured out is a worldly trait. That is the wide gate.

Your flesh will always tend toward doing what feels good, what makes you feel (falsely) safe and what makes life easier for you. That's probably not going to be the road through Samaria.

But, you're also going to miss Jesus because He mostly shows up in the least likely places with the people no one else wants to sit with at lunch. He is found in the Samarias of the world, sitting by a well, talking to a woman most people called a whore and a loser and avoided because it was against the "rules" to just love her.

Think long and hard about where Jesus went in the Bible. Those are the places He's still going. He doesn't change; He's the same now as He was then.

As for me and my house, we're going to try our best to walk straight through and I think we'll find Jesus sitting right there, still at that well, offering Living Water that He then expects me to pour back out, still filled with the love it had when I received that endless supply, free of charge. 

He expects me to love them and when they ask why I'm loving them when others avoid them I'm supposed to say, "I met this guy at a well once when I was thirsty, lonely and alone. Wanna here about Him?"

The end.  

K

Love Wins

My social media feed is filled with Confederate flags and multi-colored banners with "PRIDE" written from end to end.  It's overflowing with terrorists acts and people being murdered on the beaches of Tunisia and beheadings in France. And it is exploding with my Christian brother's and sister's posts of outrage and anger. 

So, this post is merely a gentle reminder to all those who believe, as I believe, that God is on His throne and Christ stands at His right hand pleading with the Father on our behalf:

God has purposed the generations from end to end, since time began.  He makes no mistakes.

THIS is the world we are to SERVE.  The one just as it is right now. I'll say it again:  God planted us HERE, exactly.  We are to SERVE this world.

Jesus tells us clearly that there WILL be troubles.  But, He also says with equal clarity that He has overcome the world.

He HAS overcome it.  Not that he will, but that He has overcome. Currently.  Present time.  Right now.

We are to serve and love and share the Gospel.  We aren't to worry if people will hear it or respond or like us. That's not our job. The Holy Spirit is really good at what He does and He's got this.

We are to stand firm in our faith, but be gentle and kind. 

We are to forgive and love and serve.

We are not called to serve only those who are kind to us or those who believe as we believe or those that we like. Actually, Jesus is pretty clear that those kinds of people aren't His and aren't following His heart.  Those kinds of people are just like the world, not different from the world, as we're called to be.

"For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?"  Mathew 5:46

We are to love God with all our hearts and all our minds and all our souls, with all the strength that WE have and then to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.  Period.

Side note:  He never, not once, said that would be easy.  As a matter of fact, Jesus said,

“I have spoken these things to you so that you shall have peace in me. You shall have suffering in the world, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33   Basically, this is going to be tough, but you can do the hard things because I have paved the way. I HAVE overcome the world.  Now go, tell the world. 

And this:

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you."  John 15:18

We are planted exactly where we're supposed to be and we're called to love. It's hard and it's sometimes humbling.  (more often than not, actually)  But, while we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us.  Not when we finally got our junk together or when we were good enough or when we eventually dropped all that sin that was weighing us down, but WHILE we were STILL sinners, He died for us.  

How can we possibly do any less, even knowing that some will never hear us or be kind to us in return?  

Last week, Elisabeth Elliot passed away and man was she a walking example of knowing she was planted where she was supposed to be and loving those that were unlovable to her! 

The very people who murdered her husband were the people she served. She loved them FIRST.  Their salvation followed as she told them about Christ, but most important, as she LIVED out the love of Christ.  Those she served were cannibals. They ate her husband after they murdered him. Literally. I cannot fathom it.

 If you've never read about Mrs. Elliot, please do.  Her life was one of suffering and obedience and love.  

Her life reminds me that I am not called to love the lovable and easy.  Her life stands as a reminder of who I can become if my focus is on Jesus and Him alone.  Mrs. Elliot wasn't supernatural.  She loved Jesus and believed Him and His Word.  She BELIEVED.  

She didn't come to them with harsh words and retribution for murdering the man she loved.  She came to that tribe of lost people and loved them as her Father Loved. She loved them. She knew that they could not love as she loved because they did not know the very One who IS Love.

 I am reminded by Mrs. Elliot and, more importantly, the Word of God that this world isn't surprising God or wiping God from it's pages.  This world is following the exact path God foresaw and knew and He loved it anyway.  My thanks for that cannot be expressed on this little corner of the blogosphere because He loved me right in my sin, too.  

I want to remember and know that my light can only shine when it reflects His love.  

"But I say to you, love your enemies and bless the one who curses you, and do what is beautiful to the one who hates you, and pray over those who take you by force and persecute you."

We either believe Him or we don't.  We either obey Him or we follow the world.  We either trust Him or we don't.  There is no gray or middle ground.  Stand firm in Love.  

Losing My Religion

I'm tired of religion. I'm even more tired of religious people. 

The Pharisees were religious. They were the only people Jesus couldn't reach when his sandals met this dusty Earth. Man, did they tick Jesus off!  And Jesus really ticked them off, too!

The Pharisees are perfect examples of religious people being "right" and still being wrong. The Pharisees were more concerned with being right than they were the people they were trying to reach.  

The Pharisees would leave a hungry man on the side of the road if they thought he was wrong enough. 

The Pharisees taught about God, but they didn't love Him. 

They're the perfect example of religious people believing they are doing good things while sitting in their glass houses and missing God as He walks right up and talks with them.  (Literally)    

....Please God, don't let me miss you. Ever...Please.... 

I'm tired of religious people arguing about things that Jesus didn't argue about or care about or didn't really even seem to notice very much. I know those people because I used to be one of them. 

I'm tired of religion being in the news.  

I'm tired of people expecting the government to spread the Gospel because they're too busy to do it, or too lazy. 

Something about all that fatigue is opening my eyes to something I'm not tired of, though: 

The Cross and Jesus. 

The fuzzier religion gets, the clearer Jesus gets. He gets more lovely and more gracious. 

The farther away I get from religion, the closer I get to the voice that says to me:  "Do not be afraid."  "Love your neighbor as you love yourself".  

The farther I get from religion, the closer I get to the voice that consistently said, "I am willing", even when no one else was. 

The cross is divisive, isn't it?  It's not pretty and sweet, with nice little hymns playing in the background and civilized little cups of grape juice being passed around. 

 The cross causes us to change if we've ever stopped long enough to look at it and see God hanging there in our place.  We either feel humility and repentance call our name or anger and hate and disbelief.  

Some try to explain it away or work really hard to deserve it. God says we are to allow God to bleed out for us and gasp His last breath in our place and accept a gift we simply are not worthy of receiving.  

Religion spends a good bit of time telling people that Sunday from 10am till noon and, possibly, from 6pm till 8:30pm the Holy Spirit will show up at so and so address. Show up. It'll be a fun time!  And God weeps.

Jesus showed up every day of the week, at all hours of the day and night to love on people and serve them and listen to them.  He still does that, even if you haven't stepped foot in a building with a steeple in decades. 

Jesus showed up on the doorsteps of sinners.  He showed up where they were. 

God busted out of meeting in a box more than 2000 years ago when He nailed Himself to a cross so we'd have a chance at redemption.

Religion spends entirely too much time and money on new programs and equipment and fancy pews and fancy buses with graphically designed slogans on the side and big screen TV's and sound systems when all they really need is Jesus and grace.  

When what we all need is nothing more than Jesus and grace. Amazing, sweet grace...

Smaller churches spend a lot of time trying to catch up to the big churches and big churches spend millions to stay big.  I mean, they're reaching people, right?  

I suppose some do, but then the cycle starts over and something is missing in most religious places. It's missing. It's missing because church isn't a building.  It's missing because religion is not Jesus.

I'm tired of religion. 

I want Jesus. 

I want to tell people about Jesus. 

I want them to know that sin is a condition. 

Sin isn't just things that we do, like lying and lusting and cheating and pride. Sin is a condition.  We want what we want when we want it and we'll tell ourselves anything to think we're better than "that guy" or "that girl".  

All of us.  We tell ourselves whatever we need to tell ourselves to avoid the truth that we need Jesus and that is all. That. Is. All.

God doesn't quantify sin, either.  Humans do that.  Lying and pride and gossip are equal to lust and adultery and murder.  Sin is a condition. We all are suffering from that condition equally.

Religion will try it's best to tell you that one is worse than the other because religion has nothing to do with Jesus.  Religion has nothing to do with truth.  

Truth, by its very definition, is exclusive, by the way. 

The compelling truth of the cross will attract all kinds of cynics.  I have no interest in arguing with them.  

The compelling truth of the cross will attract all kinds of mockery and scorn.  I'm OK with that. It's tough and humbling to truly see the hard truth that we aren't in control of our own destiny.  It's hard to stop and look at our own lives and recognize that we are not in control. Of anything. 

Oh, yes....we can make choices or go right or go left, but we have no control of where those choices lead or how they turn out.  If we did, we'd all be blissfully happy all the time with no worries and every choice we'd ever made would have lead us right back to happy and wealthy and healthy and whole.  But, they didn't, because we aren't in control.  And that's a humbling thing. So, bring on the mockery and scorn. 

The cross holds the greatest claim in history and that claim wasn't this:  Religion and rules and laws will save you! God did that first to SHOW you those things didn't work.  Ever. Those things make your sin heavy and real so you know you can't bear it.  You can't bury it. 

You can't live through sin.

The cross holds the greatest claim in history that is THIS:

The greatest claim in history is that God died with your sins strapped around his neck. He died. All the way.  

But, death could not claim Him. He rose. He slew death like a boss.  

The sinLESS wrapped Himself in the sinFUL and He OVERCAME.  

He threw off sin and shame and found joy because He loves His creation. He loves His creation just like it is right now.  

He DIED for His creation just like it is right now.  We aren't surprising Him!  And still...while we were sinners, He loved us.

And He rose. He extended His hand and said, "I love you. Now go and tell the world. It will be hard and it will be scary, but don't be afraid. I've got this. All you have to do is tell them and leave the rest to me."

Jesus said, don't be afraid.  I overcome the world. Now go. Tell them I love them and I'll be back.

And LOVE THEM THE SAME WAY I HAVE LOVED YOU. 

...the same way that He loved me...

...the same way that He loved me...

...Do you know all the things I've done, Jesus? Do you know all the horrific things I've thought and said and done?...

...Yes, I do...Every. Single. One.

...And you love me all the way, anyway?...

...Yes...All the way...

The Pharisees talked a lot about being clean and pure and holy.  They talked a lot about laws and religious ceremony.  But, they had no concern for the heart of a person or loving people or showing mercy or grace. 

They were more concerned with the temple than the One the temple housed.

The most religious people of Jesus' day blocked the door to God Himself.  The writer of the Law, the Creator Himself, was not good enough for religious men.

Religion isn't about plays and meetings and even Bible studies with sweet groups of men and women.  It's not about us, at all. 

It's about the cross.  It's about grace and love. It's about accepting a gift and then sharing that priceless gift.

It's about Jesus.

And it's time we said so.  

Looking For Purpose

Ever feel a need to have a defined ministry? Most Christians that I know seem to have that need. Almost every person, Christian or not, wants a defined purpose, a definitive compass that points them in a specific direction with a clear directive.  Can I admit that I don't know tons of people who seem to have perfected that ideal?  

Last year, there was a lot of transformation in my life and lots of change.  During that time, God really began to bring to light what His Word has to say about the ministries in my life and what those should look like. I think some of that had to do with the fact that I'm one of those people who really need to feel like I'm being purposeful. 

But then I began to notice that in God's Word there is rarely anyone running around looking for ministry or trying super hard to make "church" happen....except the Pharisees. 

The heros of the faith weren't searching out fifteen ways to serve or signing up for committees at their local church building. (I'd like to point out that they didn't spend 100's of thousands on a church building to house the lists, either.) I couldn't find a single instance in the Bible where there was a list in the kiosk to notate who wanted to do what or who was bringing what to the next get-together.  

Now, I'm not saying those lists in and of themselves are bad things. They aren't. What I'm suggesting is that maybe we're a little more churchy in our ministries than God intends for us to be. Maybe our ministries, our purpose, are the things God has placed right in front of our faces. Maybe we're so busy looking for ministries that we're missing the Christ opportunities that are right in front of us. 

So, I started praying and asking God to show me what ministries HE has for me. What is my purpose, Lord?  He answered me very clearly:

My ministry is the four lives He allowed me to bring into this world.  My purpose is the marriage covenant that I have entered into with my husband.  My purpose is to serve my family with joy and purpose and love.  

My ministry is to uplift the precious friends He's brought into my life over the last year.  It's to be real with them and encourage them in their walk and love them right where they are today, while encouraging them to love Jesus and always keep Him as their first love. 

My purpose is to pray.  Pray for my children, their future spouses (if they decide to marry) and my children's friends. I am to pray for my husband and lift him up before the Lord every single day.  I am to encourage my friend's in their marriages, with their families and with their prayer life. I am to serve each of these people with joy and humility.  I am to walk the path placed before me and make His Word a lamp at my feet to light the path and His voice the one I listen to when I choose to go left or to go right.

I am to pray for my church, its leaders and my church family. I am to open my home to these people and love them. I am to hear them in love and speak to them in love. God love, not people love.

My purpose is to open my eyes and my heart to the ministries that God has already placed all around me.  Like that hungry guy standing at the side of the road while I have a take-out bag filled with yummy left overs sitting right there on my leather passenger seat. 

"To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away."  Mathew 25:29

Noah was not a storm chaser, but built the ark as he was instructed.  

Moses did not seek to be a leader or the center of attention, but walked over to the burning bush that stood before him and waited for God to speak.  

Paul did not first seek to spread the Good News, he met Jesus on a road trip to Damascus. 

Peter, James and John were just running their family fishing businesses when Jesus showed up and said, "Hey, let me show you how to REALLY fish." 

David did not fight to become King, he watched his flock with diligence and asked God to create a pure heart within him. 

Mary lived her life quietly, in a teeny town that no one else paid much attention to, when the angel of the Lord brought her great news of her child, who was also God Himself. 

Our purpose is not to seek purpose. It is to open our eyes, see the ministries and blessings all around us, and submit to God. He'll do the rest.  If we do this, we'll find our ministries are plentiful and our boredom, our restless hearts, will settle and be full.

You already HAVE a purpose. You are created in the image of God and He doesn't mess up. You can trust that.

PS....this post is as much as "note-to-self" as anything else. I don't have much figured out, but I'm praying to know better, do better, be better.  I'm praying every day for eyes that can see and ears that can hear.  Amen.  


 

My Life is a Mess

Mess:  The untidy state of things or a place.  That fits my life right now and I've decided to own it. (as if there is some choice to be made...) So often I long to portray a life of ease, with no mess or untidiness.  I want the world to see me as having it all together and someone who succeeds.  Too often it seems important that we portray more than what we are and it makes me sad, as well as a mess. 

Jobs are up in the air around our home and security seems far away.  Vacuuming, clothes and dust bunnies are all piling up or being ignored.  Chores seem heavy and weighted and life seems to churn at an impossible pace, whether too fast or too slow. Family members sick with diseases named, but not cured. An Uneasiness wrestles inside me, demanding to be acknowledged, confronted.  Anger is too often the companion of Uneasiness, I know this very well.  We call it venting, but it's really grace abandoned and a harsh word stirring up more anger, when gentleness is truly the answering card of love. (Prov. 15:1)  Doubt is their announcer and he trumpets with Armstrong like lungs to whisper urgently in my heart, "Did God really say...?"

Large decisions loom ahead and true to my flesh I ponder them and ponder them until they are larger than the sun and no light can pierce through my worry and imagination.  Surely, the problems are real and messy and truth.  My mind convinces me of this truth, yet still, there is a candle in my heart that will not believe that pondering is truth.  A place that understands that feelings do not manifest into reality simply because they are being felt.  This is a great Lie, my spirit says to me. 

And so I cling, in this messy life, to one Truth that is eternal and real:

Jesus, who does not leave me, and never forsakes me.  That even now, right this moment, is pleading on my behalf and loves me true, with a yoke that is light and a heart that is willing...always willing. Always knocking.  His strength is most known when I am weak and His arms are capable of holding me fully, even when I am sure I will simply slither away, unseen.  He sees. He hears. He knows. He is Faithful. He is near. The mess begins to lessen, the looming disaster shrinks and reality is made new because He lives and is Love. Joy becomes reality, Love becomes a Name, who calls me His own, and Gentleness finds its way into my heart to calm the storm and the noise. Peace, even among the mess. Perhaps, because of it...

Enough

     I found this quote recently and wanted to share it with you:

"There is something perverse about more than enough. When we have more, it is never enough. It is always somewhere out there, just out of reach. The more we acquire, the more elusive enough becomes." –Unknown

     (May God remove any inclination in me that resembles this quote!!  Amen!) 

     Consequently,  I had also been studying how God views material things in His Word, and I'd already come to the conclusion that He doesn't really "view" them one way or another.  It's our attitude about them that He's more concerned with.  Are you longing for "more" today or do you often "wish" your time away thinking about "more"?  I pray that you don't.  I pray that not one moment of your time, or mine, is taken up with a longing for more than what God has so graciously provided.  I pray that our focus is placed upon Christ and turned outward so that those in need are what our eyes and ears are tuned into.  I pray that the only thing that we never have enough of is Jesus. 

     Remember when you become ensnared in the world's tricky materialism:  As soon as something material is possessed, it loses most of it's value simply because the only real value material things have are that you WANT them.  As soon as you have them, their value decreases....and then you want to possess something else.  Don't fall for it!  You cannot store up things of value in this world, people...you just can't. 

    

What Are We Missing Again?!?

    As a homeschooler, I am sometimes barraged with comments on all that my children are missing out on by not attending institutionalized "learning".  I make no apologies in stating that my worldview simply does not hold to that truth.  For our family, the opposite is true and I recently ran up on an old article at Associated Content that merely upheld our strong belief that homeschooling is the more excellent way.  Here is a small excerpt of that article:


     A 1993 survey of 1,632 eighth to eleventh graders, conducted by the American Association of University Women (AAUW), reported that 76 percent of males and 83 percent of females (WOW!)have been the victims of unwanted sexual confrontation at school (Fineran, 2002). The laws concerning sexual harassment are much stricter in workplaces than they are as they apply to schools (Grube, 2003), and many people may not realize that only in the last two decades was sexual harassment in schools even addressed by courts and lawmakers. Studies have shown that sexual harassment has detrimental effects in an educational setting. The same AAUW study reported that victims “feel threatened, depressed, even suicidal; dread going to school; have difficulty paying attention; are reluctant to participate in class; experience falling grades; and have considered changing schools” (Couch, 2004). Because a school can be held financially liable for sexual harassment on its premises, school counselors should do all they can to prevent and address this problem.


Where to even begin?  First, please note that this article takes data from 1993, but was written in 2006.  1993 is before almost all students carried cell phones, Ipods, and laptops everywhere they went.  I have no idea of the statistics now, but I can think of no solid reasoning to assume that those numbers are less.  However, I can think of countless reasons why they would have increased.  Scary.

I would like to focus on that last line that I have placed in bold letters:   Because a school can be held financially liable for sexual harassment on its premises, school counselors should do all they can to prevent and address this problem.   Financial reasons are why they should protect students from sexual harassment?  Seriously?   What about all those reasons listed in the previous few sentences?  What about the horror of rape, or the trauma that can follow a young man his entire life because he was not raised to understand the value of himself and members of the opposite sex?    I cannot imagine that a "study" was needed to assess that sexual harassment was indeed a detriment in ANY setting, including an educational one.  I cannot imagine, as a parent, being willing to outsource my parenting to strangers who do not hold my values, nor believe in anything other than passing the test.  But, I digress.

I lament the standards to which our society has fallen.  I am horrified by the amount of sex and violence that our children are exposed to daily and I am saddened that any child must be sent off to an institute of learning while being horrified that they will be fondled, groped, made fun of, harassed and bullied to the degree that it actually affects their ability to learn and focus.  I am also equally aware that many parents will defend the position of the school, as well as defend their position to send their children there.  "Socialization" has become the goal and virtue that rings the loudest among those opposed to homeschooling. Perhaps they should look at that goal a little more closely before shouting it from the rooftops.  It is a straw man arguement, at best.
 However, the ruling in Monroe vs Davis, a well known sexual harassment case filed against a public school, wasn't so clear that they felt that way at all.  They were much more concerned with a public institution being held responsible for...well, anything really.  Here was the first mandate from that court case that some actually view as "successful".


Issue 1

Can a recipient of federal education funding be be held liable for damages under Title IX under any circumstances for discrimination in the form of student-on-student sexual harassment?

Issue 2

Can a district's failure to respond to student-on-student sexual harassment in its schools support a private suit for money damages?

And here was the court's answer:


5-4, majority opinion by O'Connor. "A private Title IX damages action may lie against a school board in cases of student-on-student harassment, but only where the funding recipient is deliberately indifferent to sexual harassment, of which the recipient has actual knowledge, and that harassment is so severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive that it can be said to deprive the victims of access to the educational opportunities or benefits provided by the school (Monroe v. Davis, http://www.ed.uiuc.edu/ed-online/cter/EOL469/mvd.html )."

In terms of the first issue presented above, the ruling of the Supreme Court was "yes", a recipient of federal funding can be held liable for damages under Title IX. In terms of the second issue presented above the answer is again "yes". The Supreme Court decision reinstates Aurelia Davis' suit. The next step in the process is for a jury to determine whether LaShonda's specific allegations justify an award (James J. Kilpatrick, "Ruling opens door to school lawsuits," Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette, 6-22-99, p. A-4).



Please note that I took the liberty of making that "and" bold print.  So, they must prove that the school has been indifferent AND that the harassment has been so pervasive that they literally feel deprived of their educational opportunity.  Those are some BIG words for a 5th grader, huh?  By the way, the plaintiff was a 5th grade child who had complained for THREE months to her mother AND her teacher that the boy next to her was "grabbing her breasts and crotch".  The school finally decided that perhaps they would move her to the other side of the classroom from the 10 year old little boy who was fondling and groping the 10 year old little girl. When the harassment continued is when the suit was filed.  And yes, my heart aches for both of them.  Ask yourself what we're coming to when a 10 year old child must put with being being fondled for 3 months before action will be taken, and then ask yourself what we're coming to when a 10 year old little boy understands the concept and employs sexual harassment upon another.  There is much to be sad about there, people. 

Back to our point that the primary concern all along was whether a publicly funded institution should, or could, be liable for sexual harassment.  Are publicly funded buildings not, by definition, paid for by the people?  Oh, how we have lost our way.  Again, I digress.  The entire point of this post was to simply shine some light on a little discussed topic of the public school system. There are countless more, and I will get to those on some other days, but here is one we should all pray about and discuss.  Children should not be outsourced from their parents, and on top of that, be forced to endure sexual harassment in ANY situation, most certainly a publicly funded one that they are forced into. 

The Bible is clear on the dangers of harming the most innocent members of our society:

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."
(Matthew 18:2-6 ESV)


 ¹³ People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  (Mark 10:13-14)

Jesus was quite clear on His expectations of how these little ones were to be treated and how they reflected the heart and attitude of true believers that would inherit the Kingdom of God.  So when people ask me if I'm depriving my children by not sending them to public institutions to learn or if I feel as though the are "missing out", my answer is a firm, "No, we do not."   This article is merely a tip of the iceberg on all the reasons why we are convinced this answer is truth.