Freedom, Football and Duck Dynasty

I love my country. I am proud of my country and the men and women who serve her.

I love that we stand for something that is revolutionary. I sometimes wonder if Americans have forgotten that we are revolutionary. 

Less than 250 years ago, there was no country in the entire world where any kind of real freedom could be found in the way we have freedom. There had rarely been any country in written history that has the kind of freedom found in the United States of America, for that matter.

I mean, we didn't just TALK about it. We wrote a DECLARATION declaring our freedom and inalienable rights, people. We put it in freakin' writing and made it the law! We said, "Hell no, we're not gonna take it anymore" and we meant it and that gives me goosebumps.

And you know what? Other countries followed suit. Obviously, not all of them, but lots and lots of them saw that it was good to let people be free and forge their own destiny without interference from...well, really anyone with the exception of laws that protect people and their stuff. How awesome are we?!?!

And yet...in the last few years there's been this really disturbing trend. There's been this trend that if people say something you don't like or agree with that doesn't harm you physically or damage your stuff we want a different kind of revolution. We want to string them up or force them out of their job or scream at them to, "GET OUT!".  

All because they don't view things a certain way or share a certain ideology or view life in the way other people think it should be lived or agree about what true freedom actually means. 

There's nothing American about that.

So, let's talk about two instances that I can think of right off hand that pissed a LOT of people off. 

First, we'll start with Phil Robertson. That Duck Dynasty guy. I'm pretty sure he's the head guy, but I don't watch the show, so that's an assumption and if it's wrong I'd still like to stay, mmmkay?

He was asked point blank how he felt about homosexuality. He wasn't pulling a Westboro (we all crazy up in here) Baptist Gathering Place. (I refuse to call them a church.) He wasn't standing on the street harassing good people or standing at a soldier's funeral chanting things I will not repeat here or anywhere else in this lifetime. He was ASKED. He answered.

But, here's the thing: People almost immediately began the now popular chant of "Yes, you may have freedom of speech but you don't have freedom from the consequences of that speech." 

Do you know how Orwellian that is? Do you understand that by threatening someone with loss of job and livelihood if they say things you don't like or agree with, you ARE damaging their freedom to speak their truth. That is a threat to damage them if they're speech doesn't agree with your truth or ideology. The very foundation of freedom of speech is understanding that others may disagree with everything you hold fundamentally true and, as long as it does not harm your life, your liberty or pursuit of happiness, they are FREE to say it and expect no repercussions like loss of job, threat of bodily harm and harassment. 

We're talking about someone who was asked a direct question about their private beliefs. He answered. That's it. 

 Did I agree with him? Doesn't matter because that's not the point.

Now, we have Colin Kaepernick. If you've been under a rock and don't know who he is, he's a back-up quarterback for the San Franscisco 49'ers and he has refused to stand for the National Anthem as it's played before each NFL game begins.

As a black man, he is making a statement about the abuses and  lack of equality toward African Americans in our country. He is making a statement that African American citizens in our country are not afforded the same equality as white Americans in our country.  

We are not talking about a man who threatened other people or harmed anyone or mocked anyone. We're talking about a guy who chose not to stand or place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem because he feels like his Nation isn't fulfilling its truest destiny of freedom and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for ALL. 

Do I agree with him? Doesn't matter because that's not the point. 

Here's the REAL point: We are losing ourselves and what makes us so revolutionary!!!  We are defiling the very thing that so many actually died to protect! 

We are the country who says you can have your religious beliefs, no matter what those beliefs happen to be or stand for, so long as you are not harming another human being physically or harming their personal belongings and private property. 

It means that even if someone stands on the flag or refuses to stand for the Anthem, they have that RIGHT. They have that right without someone screaming for them to be fired or harmed.

Not just "whether you like it or not", but ESPECIALLY if you like it or not. The kind of freedom we have in this country is revolutionary BECAUSE of that, not in spite of it. 

My fellow Americans, we so often mourn the loss of life that our freedom has cost so many. We understand so deeply what freedom has cost. It is part of who we are! It is part of our very definition as Americans. FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!

It not only costs our beloved soldiers their lives. It costs us our pride and our right to be right and our anger. It costs the citizens of a free country the belief that their opinions are the ONLY opinions.

So, who are we if we, the very country who revolutionized freedom, begin to pick and choose how someone exercises their freedom?!  Who do we become if freedom is only true if we all agree on the same things in the same way?

Again, I am NOT talking about people who rape and pillage and murder and harm other people...we are talking about words and actions that express someones privately held beliefs and truths. Not bullying. Not standing on the streets screaming at people to cause damage, but privately held beliefs and feelings and hurts and truths, even if those feelings are publicly known. 

For me, I see other countries - countries who curb speech to the point that you can go to jail for speaking out against the reigning powers - and I KNOW that I do not want to begin the walk down that slope. It is slippery with self-righteousness and hate and harm and cruelty. It is lacking in compassion and kindness and hope and renewal and FREEDOM. 

 I do not want to walk a path that shoves someones truth back down their throat because they do not believe or feel as I feel or believe. I do not want to walk that path because one day someone is going to disagree with me. Some of you are disagreeing with me RIGHT NOW.

We are peeking over the edge of that slope. Can't you feel it?  Can't you feel the churning, vile cauldron of hate and descension in our beautiful land of the free because we will NOT allow someone else to be free to express themselves because they have the audacity to NOT agree with us or they express themselves in a way that YOU wouldn't express yourself? 

I feel it. The media feeds on it like sharks in a bloody pond. Social media's cup is overflowing with it. 

But, it's one on one, face to face, where we must make our stand. We must stand together and hear one another. 

You want to make America great again? Really? You want unity? Really? 

Then UNITE. Allow others to speak their truth without being offended. The very people who mock others offense are very often the ones who become so viciously vocal when they are offended, by the way. Surely you see it.

You are not harmed if the Duck Dynasty man holds a religious belief that you do not hold. You aren't. Keep living. Keep loving. Keep being kind. Be angry if he is NOT allowed to hold a religious belief so long as he doesn't harm others with that belief.

You are not harmed if a black man doesn't stand when the National Anthem is played. You aren't. Keep standing. Keep placing your hand over your heart. Keep loving. Keep being kind. Be angry if he is NOT allowed to sit, so long as he doesn't demand others do the same.

THAT IS UNITY. 

That is who we say we are when we go to other countries and fight for people who can't fight for themselves. That is who we say we are when we go to other countries that are killing people to oppress their privately held beliefs and feelings. 

I want to BE what revolutionizes Americans and makes us unique among all the countries on Earth. I want to LOVE those who don't agree with me. I want to HEAR them. I want freedom.

I want those things BECAUSE I love my country and everything it stands for. 

I believe in America and every word on the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America. I believe that freedom is worth dying for, even if it means I have to listen to and support someone who practices their freedom and rights differently than I practice mine.

I can only believe in freedom if I believe it for everyone. 

Maybe I can only truly believe in freedom if it means I must support someone's freedom when everything they stand for is diametrically opposed to everything that I stand for.


Over here still believing in inalienable rights,
Kristi




 

Praise for the Pain and Letting it Go!

Letting go is probably the hardest thing in the world for me to do. Letting go feels like I'm ripping off some vital organ and beating myself with it.  Who knows?  Maybe I was.

 I used to take the worst relationships in my life and cling to them like they were the last crack dealer on the entire planet and I was a hard core addict. 

Part of what makes it hard for me to let go of anything is flat out co-dependency, which I have in spades. Ask a codependent to fix something relationally broken and watch them break out into a cold sweat of pure longing while their broken interior voice whispers maliciously into their ear that if they fix it...then they will be loved.

Psychology says this is typically because co-dependents view others behaviors as a reflection of their self-worth.  In other words, if I can fix this, THEN you'll love me.  If I can be "good enough", THEN you'll love me.  If you can accept me, THEN I'll be good enough. This is not love. This has nothing to do with love.  This is the opposite of love.

 But, the other part that makes letting go of bad relationships very hard for me is that I've been listening to the world's idea of what I should be doing for a very, very long time.  I want my life to look like what it "should" look like.  I was taught that how things look matters.  A lot.

 I wanted my life to look like a beautiful rainbow of peace, fun, loud mouthed family meals and people who love me with the same rabid passion that I loved them. I wanted them to trust in my goodness and love as much as I trusted in theirs. 

When people that you trust and love don't trust in your goodness and love, then you begin to question if you have goodness and love in you. This is crippling. This will cost you thousands of dollars in therapy later in life. Trust me on that. 

 I want the people in my life to think the same happy thoughts for me that I think for them. I want them to include me in the same way that I include them.  This is dangerous territory.

Learning that you must let go of those relationships, possibly even the idea of those relationships, will free you and cause you intense pain. Intense pain that must be endured to heal and come out the other side more whole than you've ever been up to this point.

Alas, one of the reasons it's been so quiet around here is that I've been dealing with loss and I don't deal with loss very well.  Frankly, I suck at it. 

I don't want to lose anything. Ever. I want to WIN!  I want to win at everything all the time in every way that winning can happen, especially when it comes to loving someone and having them love me in return. 

But, here's the thing:  Winning relationally had a very specific pictorial set-up in my head. What my relationships "should" look like had blinded me from seeing how they actually WERE. This is dangerous territory and every therapist, even the bad ones, agree on that. 

Refusing to see the reality of the relationships in your life is dangerous territory, no matter who that relationship is with.

Life HAD to look like that picture in my head or I wasn't OK!!  I was happily willing to lie to myself about the health of a relationship if it meant the relationship wasn't over yet. 

So, I've had to re-learn what relational winning looks like because the way it looked in my head was entirely different than what was happening in my life and it caused me intense pain for a long, long time. Pain that opened the door for me to be abused and mistreated. The pain of staying in the relationship finally became more than the pain of losing the relationship.

God Himself says that if you do not honor the relational rules He has laid out as acceptable, then you may not enter His house.  He still loves and He still cares, but there are boundaries.

So, I took a step back. (the first step is ALWAYS the hardest, by the way)  Then recently, I took another step back.  And suddenly, the picture becomes more clear, more manageable.  More healthy.  More true.   

And I realized that I cannot love anyone if I am not loving myself.  Loving myself includes removing people from my life who are either incapable of loving me or unwilling to love me. 

It does not mean that I wish them ill-will.  It doesn't mean I don't care for them. It simply means that I am choosing to limit the access certain people can have in my life and into my heart.  It means that I am the boss of me and as an adult it is my responsibility to take care of myself.  

Once that decision was made in my heart, it was like the sun came out from a long, gray winter and spring was near. 

Not long now...

I realized that I am surrounded by love.  

My incredible husband and our four precious children. They love me.  They love me fully and allow me to love them fully.

My absolutely bombastic friends who are there for me in a "we're going to rise together" kind of way.

A cousin whom I love like a true sister and I know she loves me that way in return. We have been friends and soul sisters since we were children playing together at our grandmother's home more than 40 years ago. She knows me all the way down to my deepest heart and she still looks at me like I'm better than chocolate. 

That same cousins children, who are very much like my own. They make my heart actually sing they are such fabulous young people.

 My church family who seriously should win some kind of award for being the most awesome church family in the history of church families.  It's like the church family lottery up in here, people.

Some homeschooling mothers who are always, always encouraging and uplifting and inspiring to me. Every. Single. Time. 

Another cousin who models what a loving aunt truly is.  She brings me to tears with the genuine affection she consistency showers on her two nephews. She values them in much the same way she values her own two boys and it's positively a beautiful thing. 

I had been surrounded by real, true love all this time that I'd been chasing love from people who simply cannot love me right now.  I had been telling myself that it was all my fault that they did not love me.  It was my fault that they simply did not like me.  

And the truth is that maybe it is my fault.  Maybe who I really am is simply not the kind of person that they can love or like very much.  That's OK.

The harsher truth is that I don't like them very much, either. I had to learn that that was absolutely OK, too. 

 I love me. I like me. And I am surrounded by love.

I am surrounded by people who know me intimately and who allow me to love them with crazy passion and joy.  There is no fear involved in loving the people that I have chosen to allow into my life.  THAT is what love should look like.

Pain will always accompany letting go and loss, though. I think it should.  

Praise should accompany the pain.  Praise that we have loved someone. Praise that we still love them, even if it's from afar and the relationship is gone. 

And then the pain begins to lesson because love is forever, even when it isn't. 

This is Grace. This is still Love. 

My Life is a Mess

Mess:  The untidy state of things or a place.  That fits my life right now and I've decided to own it. (as if there is some choice to be made...) So often I long to portray a life of ease, with no mess or untidiness.  I want the world to see me as having it all together and someone who succeeds.  Too often it seems important that we portray more than what we are and it makes me sad, as well as a mess. 

Jobs are up in the air around our home and security seems far away.  Vacuuming, clothes and dust bunnies are all piling up or being ignored.  Chores seem heavy and weighted and life seems to churn at an impossible pace, whether too fast or too slow. Family members sick with diseases named, but not cured. An Uneasiness wrestles inside me, demanding to be acknowledged, confronted.  Anger is too often the companion of Uneasiness, I know this very well.  We call it venting, but it's really grace abandoned and a harsh word stirring up more anger, when gentleness is truly the answering card of love. (Prov. 15:1)  Doubt is their announcer and he trumpets with Armstrong like lungs to whisper urgently in my heart, "Did God really say...?"

Large decisions loom ahead and true to my flesh I ponder them and ponder them until they are larger than the sun and no light can pierce through my worry and imagination.  Surely, the problems are real and messy and truth.  My mind convinces me of this truth, yet still, there is a candle in my heart that will not believe that pondering is truth.  A place that understands that feelings do not manifest into reality simply because they are being felt.  This is a great Lie, my spirit says to me. 

And so I cling, in this messy life, to one Truth that is eternal and real:

Jesus, who does not leave me, and never forsakes me.  That even now, right this moment, is pleading on my behalf and loves me true, with a yoke that is light and a heart that is willing...always willing. Always knocking.  His strength is most known when I am weak and His arms are capable of holding me fully, even when I am sure I will simply slither away, unseen.  He sees. He hears. He knows. He is Faithful. He is near. The mess begins to lessen, the looming disaster shrinks and reality is made new because He lives and is Love. Joy becomes reality, Love becomes a Name, who calls me His own, and Gentleness finds its way into my heart to calm the storm and the noise. Peace, even among the mess. Perhaps, because of it...

Understanding Isolationism vs Non-interventionism

After the Thanksgiving turkey and dressing were eaten, and after the football games were watched yesterday, I decided to do a little Ron Paul research and read some information out there about why anyone wouldn't vote for this guy.  To be honest, it really boggles my mind that ANY American wouldn't want this guy in office.  Seriously.

What I found in my little experiment was a lot of misinformation by people who obviously don't do much of what I was doing and that's read information contrary to their personal opinions and beliefs.  The vast majority of articles against Dr. Paul were really misinformed articles about his foreign policy.  So, what I'm going to do today is give you an education in isolationism and non-interventionism and why Dr. Paul stands so opposed to what many Republicans believe our foreign policy should be.

First, isolationism is defined as a country separating themselves from the rest of the world...in every way.  In. Every. Way.  THAT is isolationism.  It means you don't trade with anyone else, you don't purchase anything from anywhere else and you don't participate in international wars, threats, or military action of any kind.  Many opponents of Dr. Paul state as a fact that this is his view and many who don't read anything other than their political parties known affiliates take that as the truth.  It is so far from the truth of his actual stance that it's very frustrating to read.  It is quite simply a lie.  Even regular every day blogs shouldn't be allowed to just lie because it works for them.  It's bunk.

Dr. Paul believes, and his voting record shows that he acts upon these beliefs, that we should be non-interventionists.  Non-interventionism, put simply, is this:  Political leaders should avoid entangling alliances with any other nation and avoid ALL wars that are not in direct correlation to our nation security.  Period.  We trade with ALL nations FAIRLY (this is another article altogether!), we have conversations with ALL nations, and maintain diplomacy with ALL nations.  How is this not a good thing?  Ever?

America's military complex is out of control and very few people could argue that point successfully.  We are spread too thin, and the vast majority of the world has become dependent upon us to provide them with military force at the American taxpayers expense.  Contrary to what much of the world believes, we Americans are not all rolling in the money with three homes, 5 cars and a butler.  Most of us are just average Bubs that work hard, take care of our families and try to make ends meet.  We are not directly involved in our foreign policy, but we ARE directly affected by it.

The terrorists of 9/11 very clearly stated that 9/11 was directly caused by the United States foreign policy.  They do not want us in their country.  Period.  If you think this is a small group of extremists that don't represent the vast majority of the Middle East, then perhaps you should read something other than the warm, fuzzy sites you're reading, or pick up a foreign newspaper.  They do NOT want us there.  They feel as though we are very much trying to implement moral imperialism and tell them what to do.  Frankly, I agree.

By agreeing with Dr. Paul that our foreign policy was the catalyst in 9/11, I'm not saying it was "America's fault".  I don't believe that.  Those men driving those planes are to blame for those deaths.  End of story.  However, should we care what would cause a human being to plant himself in a plane and fly it into one of our buildings and murder our citizens?  Shouldn't that matter?   They told us themselves why they did it.  The 9/11 commission came to the same conclusion.  The DOD came to the same conclusion and all these documents are public knowledge.  Muslims do NOT want us on their holy sites, and Arabic nations do NOT follow the American standard of morality.   Moral imperialism, anyone?

How would you feel if they came here and began a campaign to force Americans into Sharia law?  Would you sit quietly while that happened?  Yet, many Americans stand in disbelief when Arabs refuse our ways and laws.  These are not "opinions".  When the DoD came to this conclusion, America removed our military base from Saudi Arabia and the Saudi populace cheered!  They do NOT want us there.  You need to assimilate that piece of information. 

Let me ask you these questions, and I encourage you to answer them honestly:   Based on our current foreign policy, China has every right to build multiple military bases in our country to "protect their interests".  How would you feel if China began to build a military base within 100 miles of your home with 3000 armed Chinese soldiers housed there?   How would you feel if China bombed our cities and then wanted to "help" us restructure them?   Whether you like it not, that is what the United States is doing and has been doing for many years.  Our government has done this....while liberty and truth has taken a back seat to power, money and greed.  (Yes, many  become extremely wealthy in these wars...surely, you know that!)   It is NOT what we were and not what our Constitution says we should be.

It is time to bring this policing of the world to a halt.  We, the American people, have the power to do so.  Will it be tough?  Sure.  Is any true good ever an easy thing?   This is not isolationism.  It's non-interventionism and it's time we get that straight.  This is not isolating ourselves from the world, it's allowing the world to be more than what we have allowed them to become.  We have become the very thing that our forefathers ran away from.  We have become the very thing that brought Rome, Greece, Spain, and every other empire in the history of man to their knees.  We have allowed our government too much power and at the end of the day power corrupts.  Absolute power corrupts completely.  We cannot afford to be bullies any longer.  It's wrong, it's corrupt and it's killing innocent people.

There is, literally, ONE candidate running who has any sort of plan to bring us back to the time of diplomacy, trade with all, safe borders, freedom, liberty,  life, and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans equally.  There is only one candidate who understands fully that not interfering with another country's right to sovereignty isn't isolationism:  His name is Ron Paul.

VOTE!

Ron Paul: 2012

Did you know that Ron Paul returns a portion of his budget to the Treasury Dept every single year?  Did you know he REFUSES to participate in Congress' gravy pension plan?  And ALWAYS has?

Here's a great 2012 video about Dr. Paul.  If you've always thought he was a "fringe" candidate (whatever that is), then please watch.  Stop letting the media tell you what is and is not the candidate of choice!  We have the FREEDOM to choose..or at least we do right now. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6D3uPLlCu8&NR=1

Out of Egypt...

     Last night I was studying the Word, with a book/commentary, and I came across this statement:  "The Lord dragged them (meaning the Hebrews) out of Egypt, but Egypt remained in them(as they whined and complained the whole time they were crossing the desert)".  You know when you have those moments when things just click and really move you?  They really make sense to you, personally? I had one of those moments last night when I read that passage.  That passage totally made sense to me because I've been like that.  I've been the child of God who was delivered from bondage, only to long for it later.  Ever been there?

     Oh, don't get me wrong...I didn't long to go back to the addiction/bondage, just to have the comfort of what was familiar, even if it was bad for me. I understood how the Jews felt.  I totally understood that desire to have what was familiar, because even though I was free NOW,  I still felt as though I was just wandering around in the desert and it was HOT, sandy, dusty and yucky.  I get it and I admit it. 

     However, what I didn't get, or don't get when that feeling creeps back in, is that God has ordained something else for me.  Something better and truer than any bondage in the world...no matter how good the bondage feels at the time.  The "feel good" only lasts until that first stroke of the whip falls across our backs and shoulders and we're burdened again with being nothing more than a slave to whatever calls us away from what God has planned for us.  I don't want to be a slave to anything but God.  Nothings gonna do for me, but Him.  So, I'm high tailin' it out of Egypt people. 

     May nothing be in me but that which is ordained by the Most High God.  May I lay down the Egypt's in my life and walk away from them without complaining, whining or longing for that which is not what God has for me.  May nothing burden me, or tie me down with a yoke, except the love that is in Christ Jesus.  May nothing but God's righteousness and holiness guide my path or choices.  And may Egypt be nothing more than a distant memory in the rear view mirror and may I pass this lesson on to my kids and grandchildren and to all the generations to come after me.

The Burden of Guilt...

    As a woman, the world has convinced me that I’m not “doing my job” if my house isn’t spotless, the kids aren’t perfectly groomed, my husband isn’t wallowing in sexual bliss, I’m not earning a big fat pay check each week, and I’m not impeccable at all times.  Is it any wonder that so many women simply cannot find the contentment they know is just around the corner.  Or at the very least, available at the next shopping fix?   FYI ladies, retail therapy works only as well as the length of the walk to the car.  The clothes wear off and so does the feeling. (well, until the bill comes…another lump of guilt?)

    The burden of guilt, when we find that we’re not perfect, can be almost astoundingly overwhelming.  We find every pair of shoes left where the feet removed them to be some form of obstacle, or intentional slight. After all, WE’RE the ones going to be judged if “someone drops over”.  How often do people just “drop over”?  Not very often in my world.  There’s usually, at least, a courteous phone call in which I’d have every opportunity to pick up those shoes, or have the violator return to the scene of the crime to remove the evidence.  And yet, almost every time I find some perceived slight that would clue the world into my imperfections, I’ll feel at least a moment of my contentment slip away.  Why is that?  Does anyone else out there feel this way?

    Why is it that women, almost universally in the U.S., feel the need to not only run the household, but be singularly responsible for caring for everyone in the household, even if she has a perfectly capable partner living under the exact same roof?  Usually one who makes just as much, if not more, money than she does, yet works no more, or less, hours at their job.  Added to that, we must pile upon ourselves the burden of guilt to have groceries bought, dinner cooked, checkbook balanced, the kids doctor/dentist appointments at perfect six month intervals, hair and nails done, extracurricular activities down pat (and you know they must be the “right” extracurricular activities) and everyone must be happy about it.  Where did life teach us that this is living?!  I cannot fathom what mothers whose kids go to institutionalized learning must deal with when homework, after 8 hours of school, is factored into that hectic life pace.

     I hear those that say this is women’s liberation.  Really?!  Are you kidding me?  Sounds like women’s hell, to me.  Now don’t get me wrong.  Really HEAR me.  If there are women out there, and I know there are, who LOVE the constant go of working 40 hours per week at a traditional job, taking care of the home, kids and checkbook, then more power to you woman!  I cheer and applaud you.  However, I’d say it’s pretty arguable, based on divorce rates and single moms, that this is, in fact, the norm. The status quo isn’t working. Women, and men, have lost their way…dare I say it…perhaps they’ve lost their place?!

     Women are nurturers.  We just are, we’ll have to deal with that.  We want to make things right (and I know “right” in that context is up for debate but work with me for a moment).  We enjoy a neat and tidy home, kids who are well versed and well dressed.  We like the security of knowing our checkbook is balanced, the bills are paid, and they’re going to stay that way.  We enjoy the comfort of a job well done and knowing we were instrumental in that.  The conundrum comes in when we burden ourselves so heavily that nothing is ever done well, and rarely on time.  Our homes become places of disorder, our work is good, but not great.  Dinners aren’t eaten together and family is placed on the back burner, while impressing others and driving the “nicest” car is placed firmly on the front burner.  Wearing the “right” outfit takes the place of having one that you love and can afford.  Our children become the coup d’ gra of the perfect image we want to project and God forbid if they aren’t comparatively doing “as well” as the mom whose respect we’d like to have. Our priorities are misplaced.

     Men are allowing women to run the show.  Yep, I went there.  Men have allowed themselves to lose their place in the home.  As the HEAD of it. As the one who makes decisions based on prayer, well thought out logic and what is truly best for his family as a whole. They’ve replaced that with golf, surfing the web, and the remote. Somewhere, we’ve allowed men to convince themselves their primary job is bringing in the money, and the women can handle the rest.  Us women are at fault for that.  Yep, I went there, too. We LIKE being in charge, but rarely are we completely capable of doing so on our own.  Be clear, I’m speaking in terms of families here.  A family has an order. We have a clear, concise order that when deviated from brings heartache, confusion and guilt that feels like a Mack truck weighing on our chests.  And frankly, us humans will do anything to remove that truck. Unfortunately, we don’t choose God’s way often enough.  We choose our way.  And we’ll always default back to the flesh. It feels good…for a season.  God’s way feels good forever.  That’s why He’s God. 

     God has a plan for each of us.  However, there are some of God’s plan that’s just plain universal and it works for ALL of us.  Women are the nurturers.  We’re the mothers, the caregivers.  We’re not designed to bear the burden of guilt alone, nor are we designed to be the head of our households.  We were designed as helpmate to our husbands.  Not as doormats…a helpmate.  We are the companions and counterparts to our husbands.  What a wonderful thing to be!  The world has told us that we’re “more”.  The world has told us that we “deserve” better.  Really?!  What could be better than having your partner, husband and lover that God gave you view you as his helpmate, his friend, his partner and equal?  Yes, equal.  Helper doesn’t mean less than.  Not in God’s eyes.  That’s the world talking to you, sister.

     It’s time we remove that cloak and burden of guilt and wallow in our contentment that we can find by honoring what God placed us here to be.  We can argue that that’s backwards…but, I’d staunchly disagree.  REALLY look around you.  Think of all the couples you know and really dig inside yourself.  How has the world’s view on women made us liberated?  How has trying to be everything , to everyone, liberated us?  How has this burden we’ve placed upon ourselves set us free to be who we want to be?  The answer is almost painfully obvious.  It simply has not.  It has entrapped us in chains and told us to be happy with them.  It’s told us what we should be, without caring about who we are.  I refuse them wholeheartedly.

     I’m David’s wife and the homeschooling mother of four.  My house in is order and my children’s laughter is ringing in the background.  We’re off for ice cream…and I’m content and thankful.